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TWENTY-SEVEN

I found our friendly neighborhood zo our toaster "Don&039;t start," he said without looking up There were screwdrivers and other shiny things scattered all over the near counter "It&039;s not like you eat toast or bagels, anyway"

"Like I care what you&039;re doing with an appliance? If you&039;re looking forsoh I&039;d heard frouy since he went toes up in his bedroom last week He set down the screwdriver and picked up a water glass filled with clear blue liquid Half of it went down his throat in a few thirsty gulps, and then he picked up the tool again

"I think you should lay off the Windex"

"This is cr��me de cacao, dope My seventh It&039;s five o&039;clock soht?" He checked his watch "Actually, it&039;s five right now What kind of a world aet drunk after I&039;m raised from the dead?"

"Uh, but you&039;ve kind of had a probleure out if he&039;d been an alcoholic or just a shitty drunk Months would go by and he wouldn&039;t touch a drop Then he&039;d go on a two-day bender Sos, and sometimes he didn&039;t I&039;ht up in rownout for hi his inventory, wellnot ht?

"Not that it&039;s any of my business," I added somewhat laht?"

"Yeah When I was alive I&039;arettes: nope I could inject myself with a pure strain of the AIDS virus and not even catch a head cold And telldrunk after I&039;ve died? Huh?"

"I think you&039;d better lay off the Windex a lot"

"Forget it What&039;s up?"

"Where is everyone?"

"Well, Detective Dick, whom I&039;ve decided you should call DeeDee, made sure I had plenty to occupy uys Jessica&039;s been careful to stay the hell away from me Sinclair&039;s holed up in the library, and Antonia and Garrett haven&039;t come down from their bedroom yet"

"Good That&039;s perfect"

"I dunno about perfect, but you gotta adood no one&039;s around" I plopped into a chair across fro chocolate brown scrubs today, his hair was clean but messy, and he worked steadily while we talked "You remember you asked o Of course I remember"

"Tiot around to killing m-"

"Time to return the favor!"

I told him hoas I was sort of amazed at how quickly I could run down all the problean after my life ended

"Hain "That&039;s your plan?"

"It&039;s all I&039;ve got so far"

"We&039;d better get it right"

"Yeah"

"You&039;re really hard to kill"

"Yeah"

"The last thing ant is you crawling back frorave"

"Gross"

"That&039;d bejust a disaster So we have to thoroughly kill you Decapitation or soreed Boy oh boy God has the weirdest sense of huuess the good neas, I&039;d be asking Hiht

This This is whatdecapitated so I could pin God down on a few issues actually sounded like a good plan

"Funny how things work out"

"Huh?"

"Well When you and IThen we talked about you killingme to kill you Full circle"

"Lovely"

"What about chopping you up into bits and, I dunno, burning the body?"

"Burning me?" I was appalled Stupid, but there it was Da corpse One possibly without a head "Not a chance! Forget it"

"Okay, okay It&039;s your grisly death, I guess"

"You&039;re daiven an cheerfully, "there&039;s a first tiood and deadwith no co back So I should sneak onto a construction site and blow myself up with site explosives or be dropped into theonly cement boots or fall on purpose into an incinerator No, wait, then I&039;ht"

"This is the weirdest conversation I&039;ve ever had," he said, sounding ht happy, in fact

"Glad I could bring some sunshine into your zombie existence And listen, Sinclair cannot know about this"

"No shit"

"Good, we&039;re on the saht tiresoonna have to try really hard not to even think about it Argh" I rubbed ood"

"Said the zoreed with otten off the subject ofMarc to keep his screwdriver away froer when Ancient Me walked in I was onMy clothes?"

"My clothes, too," she said

"Oh, hell no!"

She crossed to the cupboard where we kept the tall glasses, grabbed one, then went to the fridge and rued for a carton ofOh, wait

Screw it "Ever hear of asking? Bad enough you&039;re a foul undead dictator from the World on Ice, but you don&039;t remember your manners?"

"It&039;s also my house," she pointed out so calhts "I knohat you&039;re thinking, and it&039;s a good way to get your neck broken"

"Wow," Marc said respectfully "All we need is a tuh Late Afternoon"

"I thought you left"

"I did leave Now I&039;m back"

"Why?"

She sat down across from Marc, who looked alternately fretful and thrilled "I&039;"

"Well, at least I don&039;t get cryptic in "

"Or I could get lost," Marc offered "If this is private vampire queen stuff I can wreck this toaster anywhere"

"You can stay because I don&039;t know you"

"Uhwhat?"

"I don&039;t know you" Ancient Betsy sounded almost bored "You were never a zombie in my timeline Never You&039;re the wild card now, Marc I don&039;t kno to play you"