Page 18 (1/2)

&039;It was just the complete pizdets&039;

He uttered the Russian obscene word, which was commonly used in two senses - &039;total fuck-up&039; and &039;unsurpassable excellence, in some way related to a total fuck-up&039; Yet it had one ht

&039;That&039;s it, I&039;ve remembered!&039;

&039;What have you remembered?&039;

&039;I&039;ve remembered who you are&039;

&039;And who a like you with five legs The Dog Pizdets He sleeps up a the eternal snows, and when enemies descend on Russia in their hordes, he wakes up and&039;

&039;Treads on the?&039; he asked

&039;No HeHe kind of happens to them Like shit happens, you know That&039;s it And I think in the northern myths he&039;s called "Garm" Have you come across him? The Nordic project&039;s your area, after all&039;

&039;No,&039; he said, &039;I haven&039;t It&039;s interesting TellThe wolf Fenrir&039;s double He&039;ll couards the house of the dead&039;

&039;What other inforueLike he&039;s supposed to spy on men to see how they make fire and pass the secret on to worowled &039;What else?&039;

&039;That&039;s all I remember&039;

&039;And what are the practical consequences here?&039;

&039;Concerning Garo to Iceland for a consultation But concerning PizdetsTry to happen to so&039;

I said that to him as a joke, but he took my words absolutely seriously

&039;To what?&039;

I was suddenly infected with his seriousness I ranspace The laptop? No The electric kettle? The light bulb?

&039;Try happening to the light bulb,&039; I said

A second went by Then suddenly the light bulb flared up in a bright bluish glare and went out Everything went dark But for a few raphed by my retina, continued to illuht When that iot up, fumbled on the wooden crate that served us as a table to find the torch, and turned it on

There was no one else in the roohts I was sick orry and exhausted by the uncertainty But when he cale word Chekhov was right: a woman&039;s soul is essentially an empty vessel that is filled by the sorrows and joys of her beloved

&039;Well, hoas it? Tellyou?&039; he said &039;This I have to show you&039;

&039;Have you learned to do it?&039;

He nodded

&039;And what can you happen to?&039;

&039;Why, to anything,&039; he said

&039;Anything at all?&039;

He nodded again

&039;Even me?&039;

&039;Well, not unless you ask ave strange sort of chortle

&039;That&039;s what I did first of all Straight after the light bulb Otherwise, what kind of Pizdets ahtened - after all, this was a seriousabout here

&039;And what kind of Pizdets are you?&039; I asked in a voice hushed with respect

&039;Total,&039; he replied &039;Absolute, final, complete and irreversible&039;

At that moment he exuded such romantic power and mystery that I couldn&039;t restrain myself and reached out to kiss him He turned pale and stepped back, but then apparently realized that wasn&039;t the way real un Everyterrible happened

&039;I&039;!&039; I said

Not many were-creatures knohat it is to feel happy for someone else And tailless monkeys know even less about it, all they kno to do is smile broadly in order to boost their social adaptability and increase the volu of happiness for someone else, the tailless monkey actually experiences envy or, in the best case, re, as pure and transparent as the water in a ine how happy I aain

This time he didn&039;t move away

&039;Really?&039; he asked &039;But why?&039;

&039;Because after all this ti better And I love you&039;

His face darkened a little

&039;I love you too But I keep thinking that you&039;re going to leave me You&039;d probably be better off if you did But I won&039;t feel any happiness for you&039;

&039;In the first place, I&039; anywhere,&039; I said &039;And in the second place, the feeling you speak of isn&039;t love, it&039;s a syoism To the male chauvinist in you, I&039;m merely a toy, a piece of property and a trophy status syparted from some expensive item You can never feel happy for someone else that way&039;

&039;So how do you feel happy for so for yourself&039;

&039;You&039;re tellingfor yourself?&039; he asked suspiciously

I shook my head

&039;But why?&039;

&039;I told you that once already When you look inside yourself for a long ti there How can you want so?&039;

&039;But if there&039;s nothing inside you, there&039;s nothing inside anyone else either&039;

&039;If you think about it properly, there&039;s nothing real anywhere,&039; I said &039;There&039;s only the choice hich you fill emptiness And when you feel happy for someone else, you fill emptiness with love&039;

&039;Whose love? If there isn&039;t anybody anywhere, then whose love is it?&039;

&039;That doesn&039;t et hot and bothered about it either But if you want afor life, you&039;ll never find a better one&039;

&039;But love - isn&039;t that emptiness too?&039;

&039;Sure&039;

&039;Then what&039;s the difference?&039;

&039;The difference is eht for a moment

&039;But can you fill the emptinesswith justice?&039;

&039;If you start filling the emptiness with justice, you soon end up as a war cri confused there, Ginger Why a war cri to decide what&039;s just and what isn&039;t?&039;

&039;People&039;

&039;And who&039;s going to decide what the people should decide?&039;

&039;We&039;ll think of so past The bluebottle dropped to the floor

&039;What are you doing, you brute? Do you want to be like them?&039;

I nodded in the direction of the city

&039;I am like them,&039; he said

&039;Like who?&039;

&039;The nation&039;