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She was a fool She must be, to be here with hi his mind, he are of her His body ached to join with hers once more, to find that blissful release that had nearly shattered the ice coating his heart Just looking at her hands re his arousal; like silk and firht of her lips elicited the memory of the heat and ue Beneath the thin silk blouse, she wore nothing He found hi if the brush of the fabric over her breasts would arouse her nipples to the hard tautness of pebbles, and if it did, whether he could stop hi at the denily between her silken thighs as his body had been He wanted to put his face into her lap and inhale her bittersweet fragrance He wanted to taste her again, to become drunk on her own potent brand of spirits

"Roland"Her voice was but a whisper He saw her hand reaching up to hiainst the tree trunk

"Tell ain

He nodded

"The tale is not a pleasant one, Rhiannon"Roland drew one bracing breath and prepared himself for her reactions

"After the battle of which I told you, I longed only to return home To put asidefor a long moment into her fathomless eyes She would, no doubt, detest him when he&039;d finished the tale All the better Perhaps she&039;d finally get soood

"But when I did, it was to find my father&039;s enemies at the castle

The Baron Rosbrook and his clan had taken it"He closed his eyes at thehome had been the crumbled outer wall, then the charred, blackened section of the castle that had been burned

Rhiannon&039;s hand touched his face

"Your fale word carried little emphasis But words could not describe what he&039;d felt that day Looking like a man, but with the fears and the heart of a boy, he&039;d crossed the barren courtyard in tiallows, and toss it atop the others in a rickety wagon He&039;d stood motionless, unable to believe that what he saas real as the wagon clattered past him, and beneath the raised portcullis Like a on stopped near the lip of a steep e over the side

He began to treain, just as he had then He wanted to shut out the memory, as he&039;d wanted to turn his eyes away froo And just as before, he was unable to do so His father, his brothers, were tossed like refuse, their bodies rolling and tuhts, stripped of their ar their flesh, others with no sign of injury save the telling fluid movement of their heads on boneless necks, tossed aithout a prayer or a tear shed for thenizable, until he&039;d gliown

"My God, Roland"Rhiannon&039;s voice was choked, and she clutched his shoulders in her hands She&039;d been inside his mind, he realized dully

She&039;d relived thosewith him

"I had no idea,"she whispered

"I&039;m so sorry"

"So aht have prevented it"

"How"Roland, you were a boy, a boy with no knightly training when you left hoht you have done, other than be killed yourself? "

He looked into her upturned face, and shook his head as he battled a rash of childish tears and a fierce burning in his throat

"I&039;ll never knoill I?"Hemoisture from his eyes

"Unfortunately, I had left I had been trained I&039;d been in battle, and gained a reputation as a fierce fighter, thanks to Gareth&039;s fa I could do before the fact But afterward"-- "If the ed you, theof your ho, experiencing it all again as he relived it for her

"It happened in an instant I went froe and a thirst for revenge that drove athered an arhts in the employ of Gareth&039;s faed Gareth and their fellow knights, so they would help ehe didn&039;t have to go on But he did He couldn&039;t have stopped hi her all of it now, had he wanted to i "By ave no quarter, nor did I Some of the Rosbrooks escaped the blade, but hter, no older than I"t: He saw Rhiannon close her eyes, and assu what came next

"Her nael Silvery blond curls, huge f blue eyes She was an innocent I ordered her thrown into the dungeons"She released her breath all at once ( i "Why are you relieved, Rhiannon? Because I didn&039;t kill her outright?

It would have been better if I had"She shook her head

"I know you, Roland After a few days, you must have realized that her father&039;s sins were not hers, and released her"

"Released her?"He alhed

"No, Rhiannon You don&039;t know retted that she should suffer for what her father had done I reeons and put her into a bedchamber on the third level I intended to return her to her relatives, until I learned she had none left The girl, of course, detested me for what I&039;d done, just as I had detested her family for the murder of mine"

"What became of her, Roland?"He removed Rhiannon&039;s hands from his shoulders, folded them into her lap and covered the for the condemnation he was certain would appear there soon

"I decided the best I could do for her Would be to wed her To keep her in the castle and try to right the wrong I&039;d done bywith her my wealth and my name"

Rhiannon blinked

"Did youdid you love her?"

"Love is an emotion of which I am not capable, Rhian-non Nor have I ever been, even then Does an animal feel love?"

She parted her lips, then bit them

"What did she say to your proposal?"

"It was not a proposal It was a coeons peraze

"Which did she choose?"

"Neither She flung herself from the tower"

"Oh, God"Rhiannon closed her eyes, and he noted the appearance of moisture on her thick lashes

"So, now you know"He let his chin fall to his chest A second later, he felt her fingers threading through his hair That she could bear to touch him at all now, amazed him That she did so with such tenderness was beyond coaze

"I swear, I didn&039;t intend to hurt you, Rhiannon I simply lost my senses I allowed the violent nature that is truly ine"

"I know As I know you were sorry after the girl&039;s death, and ht froht, a hired fighter I left the castle in the hands of caretakers I couldn&039;t bear to be here, with theme in every hall"

"Ah, but now you alter the tale, Roland For I knew of you long before you knew of ht for a price, but always on the side of the weak, and always on the side of the just I knew you were one of The Chosen, Roland I was fascinated by you"

He frowned, not believing her

"It&039;s true,"she said

"It was years after your knit ing, of course, and I knew nothing of what horrors befallen you in your youth I heard tales of your valor I tracked you down For some time, I followed you yourthenificent black war-horse with the eyes see armor, the powerful way you would w that sword, your fearlessness"

"You saw ht?"

She nodded

"The battle at Lorraine, at ht to free the kidnapped Lady la Claire And the in Normandy, when you helped the fallen erate battle lust you claio slack

"Rhiannon, why did you n tell h at me immortal vampiress, smitten by a man she&039;d never But I was, you knoanted to co, or so brave I enamored of you, Roland Then, you heard of Br Gareth&039;s young son, that sarown by then He was in dire need, you rushed to his aid"

Roland nodded

"Yes His castle was under siege he couldn&039;t withstand the attackers ht word tofull well you were s on men, and still exhausted from the last skirht, you went, so I was able to follow, and to watch He nodded

"The ene his shock as he&039;d peered at them from the cover of the forest

"And you attacked the any of your men ished to leave Few did, as I recall That battle was the fiercest I had ever seen, Roland I was terrified for you You ed to rout the invaders, but in the end, you were cut down I found you lying in the dirt, near death You relimpse of her A I , own, leaning over hi that he would live, that she would not allow hi down on his face, and the way their moist warmth transcended his pain

"Of course, I re It was then you transforift More worthy than any of us, perhaps Yet you spend eternity grieving over pastyourself for a passionate nature"

Roland stood, and gazed upward at the stars

"You call it passion I call it evil"

She was on her feet, at his side before he are she&039;dsoundlessly, as if floating She stood before him and lifted her soft pal into her eyes, rather than at the starry night Of the two, he thought, her eyes were the most lovely, the most brilliant

"It is time for you to let the past die"

He felt his heart contract painfully in his chest

"I cannot"

"Yes, you can There is so much for you here, in the present So much you deny yourself So , Rhiannon"I "There is Jah the pain inside only grew sharper

"Yes, there is Jaht these past days"Her hands fell fro to think you were right The boy may be better off with his natural father He needs a nors He ought to live in a suburban house, not a cruhtful breath

"You&039;ll still need to watch over him, even if you are able to locate his father And there is always a chance"She bit her lip and her eyes filled suddenly Roland felt her wince inwardly in pain, and wondered at it

"A chance that his father will not want him,"she finished Her hands fell to her sides, and she averted her face

"Rhiannon, what"-- "And even without the boy, you have your friends

Eric and Tamara adore you, Roland""They have each other"He shook his head He couldn&039;t tell her how terribly lonely he felt when he had to witness their happiness It only exaggerated his own isolation"What about ripped both his hands in hers

"Don&039;t tell et all that pain when you made love to me

Don&039;t say you didn&039;t feel the sa alive, that you made me feel"He closed his eyes

"I did not make love to you I assaulted you"

She drew his hands toward her, pulling them around her to the small of her back Then she left them there, to slip her arms around his neck and press her body to his"Perhaps you will get it right the next time, then"

He didn&039;t push her away He couldn&039;t Staring down into the endless pools of her eyes, he simply couldn&039;t"There cannot be a next time, Rhiannon"

"There can There will"She pressed her lips to his, parted the every ounce of his faltering control, he released her and turned away

"No"

"But Roland, I"-- "No, Rhiannon You still don&039;t coh his hair"There is so much in you that reminds me of who I once was The ih in the face of danger Dammit, Rhiannon, it is never as hard for me to control my nature as when I am with you Your very presence stirs in ht to suppress"

She said nothing He couldn&039;t turn to face her Looking at her would only teive in to the beast It was ironic that the one thing he wantedthat heat hi this prize before him just to see him pay for his sins

"Sometimes, Rhiannon, I believe you are my punishment My curse"

He turned then, and stopped dead The pain in her eyes was such as he&039;d never before seen Yet they re, but utterly dry Without a word, she turned and walked away, toward the wrought-iron gate Her rapid pace was brought up short, though, when t Eric appeared just beyond it, ehost"Rhiannon, thank God I&039;ve found you Is Roland"-- "Here, Eric,"Roland called Heat Rhiannon&039;s stricken face He&039;d hurt her again

Severely this time He felt it as surely as he felt the river- moistened breeze on his face, and he had no idea how, or even if, he could reered away into the densest part of the woods

Roland took a step to go after her, but Eric&039;s hand on i his shoulder stopped hi violently He shook Eric&039;s hand away and again began to go after her"Daone"Roland halted on the dark path, his lower legs swathed in s An icy hand closed around his chest He turned

"Gone? What do you one&039; ?""He&039;s left Run off"

Eric fished in his pocket, and pressed a folded sheet of paper into Roland&039;s hand

"We found this in his rooone He heard nothing now He sent the probing fingers of his o,"Eric said softly

"Read the dao, then smoothed the note open with hands that were not steady, and read; Dear Tamara, I have to leave Please don&039;t try to find me I&039; as I am with Roland, he&039;ll think he has to take care oflike it did before

Curtis is back DPI is driving everyone crazy, all because of ot knifed at the ht I heard you and Eric talking I don&039;t knohat happened, only that Roland hurt her so he&039;s been taking to keep hi it if it hadn&039;t been for me He shouldn&039;t have

Even I know better than to s that way