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I had wandered alone for three nights Hiding out in the very filthiest, vilest parts of the city, for I felt this was all I deserved I was a filthy, vile being noasn&039;t I? Violated by a monster, and made into one just like him

And I kneas le moment in time when I could have said no I could have chosen death and salvation over life-unending life and damnation I didn&039;t have to drink when he pressed my face to his throat I didn&039;t have to drink But I had I had I&039;d been filled with an incredible, powerful urge not to die I&039;d wanted to live! And so I had

God had seen fit to test ed s

My flawed faith And I&039;d failed that test Failed itI would not, could not do And that was to prolong this life by feeding on the living The innocent Lambs of God, flocks of the for the for as the very essence of theer burned in me! I writhed with it When one of them passed by the s of ht the scent of their blood, and led andwith need With every part of me I wanted to take one of thee ainst s deeply into the, some small part of the person I&039;d once been, re to, and drew on to sustain my resistance

That partand the crucifix I wore around my neck The syrain of its wood, and studied the grimace on the face of the Christ, the one too tiny forThough they did not keep ht of water, I do believe I was quite ht

And then he came

I smelled him, as I had the others No No, that&039;s not quite true It wasn&039;t the same His scent came to me more powerfully than theirs had It tantalized reater extent, so that I curled into the corner, drawing s, and praying he would pass by Quickly, before that succulent scent drove me completely out of my mind

He didn&039;t, of course His scent caer and more delicious with every second And then there was a sound A s nearer across the littered floor I looked up, and he was there, his breathsatquite so pathetic as the picture I made there in the filth And I wanted to scream at him Get away! Can&039;t you see what I aer you&039;re in?

"Don&039;t be afraid," he said to hter, but I hadn&039;t the strength Thisme not to be afraid of hih I didn&039;tat hireater detail than I&039;d ever done as a mortal Even in the darkness of that wreck, I could see him For I saw very well in the darkness now His eyes-not coal-black But dark, velvet brown With blacker stripes, wavy stripes surrounding his pupils like rays around the sun

He was like the sunthe sun I would never look upon again

His hair was thick and he wore it long I could see, even from this distance, its luster, its richness It would feel like silk, that raven mass of unruly curls His skin wasn&039;t chalk-white and sickly like mine, but bronze, as if his body had been coated in honey just for me

I licked my lips as my eyes feasted on the bit of flesh exposed at his muscled throat And then I lowered my eyes, closed them I wanted hiin, whose intent had been to pledge myself to Christ, and to reer so carnal it shocked me Was this yet another aspect of my new character? Was I to become a harlot as well as a demon and a murderess?

"Go away," I croaked "You&039;re not safe here"

But theer

Despite his size-and he was a bigto fear

He stood over er-striped eyes of his soft with pity when they should have been ith revulsion "You&039;re starving, aren&039;t you?"

Yes, I was starving And I could hear the strong, and steady thru through his veins I could hear it!

"Please!" I cried, burying my face in my hands "Get away! I can&039;t stand it!" And then his hand came to stroke the hair fro ain I could feel the war my face I could feel every line in his pal, aren&039;t you?"

But my eyes had found the spot where his pulse beat in his throat, and for the life of me, I could not look away

"I can help you," he told ht, you&039;ll see"

"Go, please" But ht of the taste of him My mouth on his skin The waro away and leave you here You&039;re suffering, I can see that" I moaned low and deep in my throat, and the tears rolled frome I wanted to take him more than I wanted to draw another breath And yet I couldn&039;t How could I? He&039;d done nothing wrong Tried to helpcourse of action, because the big, beautiful fool put his strong arms around me, and I could feel every curve of the muscled firently, rocking ht I have friends who are like you They can help you I&039;ll take you to theht"

He went on like that, stroking my back and my hair I had no idea why But his movements made me insane with this unnatural need Insane with lust for hile until I couldn&039;t distinguish the carnal lust froer They became one My face rested in the crook of his corded neck My lips even touched his warm, salty skin, as he held me there And it was the end All I could stand There was no shred of hury animal, and he was my meat

I slipped my arms around the beautiful s deeply into hiular He gasped But didn&039;t fight hter, and I felt a shudder work through hiers in ainstainst him

I think, perhaps, he didn&039;t realize that this would be the end of him Not until I&039;d nearly drained hian to twist in my arms, and pull But as starved as I was, it was useless He couldn&039;t break my hold on him Already, he eakened from the loss of his luscious blood

"No more," I heard him whisper, so close to hter, and bit down harder, and sucked at the wounds in his throat all theain And he said,

"Da me," in a barely audible whisper

That voice, that sa now, for his very life, and reduced to this harsh whisper I was horrified, and shoved hi doll, and lay there, his eyes noup at me And then they fell closed

"Jesus, Joseph and Mary, what have I done?" I whispered, and I turned to run away

"Hold it right there"

This voice had no music No silk It came harshly, cruelly, from just beyond the doorway A voice that held authority, co to chill my body, so recently warmed by my victim&039;s blood This newcomer couldn&039;t see the man I&039;d just killed Not from here I hoped he wouldn&039;t I couldn&039;t bear for anyone to knohat I&039;d done, what I&039;d beco a weapon at un, of sorts

"There&039;s a tranquilizer in here," he said "You co peacefully, and I won&039;t have to use it" I eyed the gun, and then the where?" I asked him And then I licked ue Shameful pleasure filled , aren&039;t you? When did those bastards change you?" Suddenly the voice was filled with syo," I told hiht the linted from my crucifix, and illuminated my tattered habit

"For the love of Christ," henun"

"Novice Not nun Not yet" I closed ht "Not ever"

"I can help you," he said, and he clicked off the flashlight as if it were a sign of good faith "I work for DPI-the Division of Paranorency, Sister We&039;re doing research, and-"

"Don&039;t call me &039;Sister,&039;" I said "Don&039;t ever call me &039;Sister"

"I&039; on a cure There&039;s a chance we can help you" I narrowed my eyes and studied his face "Where?"

"Our headquarters InWhite PlainsIt&039;s not far, really Coain, don&039;t you?"

I blinked, searching his face Was it truly possible? Could I regain my mortal self, and with it, my immortal soul?

No! Don&039;t trust hi in h , weakly and breathlessly, in lanced behind h barely open, o

I snappedht now He&039;d admitted to me that he had friends erelike me, as he&039;d put it Other vampires

Was I to trust a friend of those creatures, those leeches in huht? No

I hated the like them I wanted it to end! I could not exist as a o with you," I said And the stranger tookhis voice in reeaker and weaker Traitor You&039;re a traitor to your kind And you deserve whatever they do to you there !

I closed my eyes, tried to block out his voice

I could have helped you You&039;ll wish you&039;d letat all Had he finally died then? A heaviness like none I&039;d ever known filled my heart I&039;d killed Twice now, once for no more reason than to preserve my own life I was damned, but perhaps the road to salvation was not entirely blocked to me Perhaps this was simply a test, or a lesson I had to learn, before I could take iveness for er opened the door of his autoain, that ht, Tam Dammit, I need helpII

There was noA large tear rolled down ht

"Jaht, Taot to hioing to need all of his strength when he wakes It won&039;t be easy for him to deal with this He wasn&039;t ready, you know"

"I know" A hand stroked Jameson&039;s face "I&039;m so sorry," she whispered "But we just couldn&039;t let you go"