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Actually, I don’t knohere this dress came from, either It’s a silk blend, fitted at the top, spattered with tiny flowers The delicate fabric flows into a tulip skirt that flares out slightly at the knee It’s black The rosettes on the fabric are ht blue, barely noticeable Sensible inky suede shoes with thick heels cling to my feet

Did Constance buy me this stuff? Where did it come from?

That wo the way I don’t knohen or how—but a friendship for from the presence of Gabe to the new e I’ve never seen Constance smile so much

Then, this happened Constance’s happiness shattered and was sucked into the re into eyes that don’t know ht, her presence frosty The look on her face when she ca in—

I press ht is too much, so I shove it away, behind the walls ofin protest The strain is too much But Constance is not the one ill destroy me

Don’t break One more step One more moment

Last night is a blur of fractured thoughts, all out of sequence The truth is fading into shadows, and when I try to reach out of it and grab hold, the ers Flashes of white linen—Abby’s dress—the one with the delicate eyelet hem The spatter of red on the front of the bodice, like the doll hurled atup the stairs The doll in Morrow’s pocket

A rush of ice floods my mind and drips down my spine My entire body shivers with a coldness that I can’t shake off

Riggs, walks in long strides next toMorrow and Quin sit in the back rows Riggs walks lances Out of the corner of ht—when she, when it happened I s hard, but it’s like forcing a hedgehog down my throat

Thishas been a frantic sweep to move me quickly, but I’m not a fool My name will cost me Ferro It’s a curse All of us will be held under acute scrutiny because of what I’ve done

Breathe I pressMy lower lip cracks open A wound that didn’t heal Not yet It’s too soon A bead of blood pools on lance for Sean, but he’s not here He’ll be inside Part of me hopes he’ll be here The other part thinks maybe not

As alk through the building, through a long corridor, people with caht white flashes go off in rapid succession, blinding me as they call out questions I re my vision

Hours have passed since the first photographer raised his caain Her little dress lay in a puddle of fabric on the floor The s was stitched with little anilow and her head of brown hair even darker It was o to the wedding

Abby

The o Too , I’m frozen in time Petrified from the initial moment I realized what really happened

My baby is gone

Another burst of light to o off simultaneously

“Enough,” Riggs growls and shoves us through athe reporters and photographers behind to hold those heavy ca frouilt—maybe even remorse

Riggs grus’ voice is a lol, “You don’t belong here, old man”

Gabe doesn’t answer The brut of ame fro he wears are agent quality—his cover there is still intact thanks to Constance—and every detail screa out fro stride

Gabe says nothing to me, acts like I don’t matter I want to ask about Sean, about the baby, but I can’t htens and I can’t breathe Shove the thought down Push it away Nightmares There’s no way it was real Any of this

Since the island, my sense of reality has beco about post shock disorder I just know that htmares became so real at times that Sean had to tell one I’m safe

I’m safe This isn’t real But it seems like it’s real and Sean isn’t here to tell me otherwise

Upon entering the courtroolance around The floor is polished to a mirror shine and the walls are sed in dark wood tris on the wall next to a cop in a unifore, and a bald head

The courtroone o Why a voice in the back ofthat makes my blood curdle

Is Vic Jr alive? No I reh it The ers around the shard The war away, beneath eance My horror

That was real

Now, I can’t tell All senses are firing but that doesn’tThis could be a dream

The roolance around as I’m led to the front of the room, past row after row

of wooden benches, and up to a wooden gate I’m asked to sit Gabe slips into the first row of benches directly behind e spreads out, two re by the back doors, while the rest take various positions around the room

I do as I’m told and sit at the elossy wood table I fold my hands and wait

The chairs in the jury box are ee’s seat is vacant

We wait The truth is, grief sedcan reach me, no one can coax an answer fro like this happens Silence ento it difficult to breathe as aining speed it shouldn’t have, going too fast to endure Sweat clings to isters, but so about it is different I haven’t known this type of cold before

I can feel it The change that tugs at the center of my chest The pressure on those old scars that have barely had time to close Those fissures, the onesoff my brother, are strained beyond coes It steals breath fros and makes me feel as if my chest will cave inward Part of me knows this is the moment that turns my soul to ash Or perhaps that moment has passed I can’t tell That threat, the ever present sense of fracturing internally, it never ends Pressing my eyes closed, I repeat my mantra