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"She's not co back"

"Avery, listen to me" I pull back, face covered in tears and look up at hi "She never left That's one thing you taught ht it up Theout, but not gone Who I aood part—it's still there It doesn't die, especially if we don't want it to"

I' in his arms "I'm not like you! I did this to myself I chose it, Sean You didn't"

"You didn't choose this You didn't want to be the biological child of aparents, who kept you safe for nearly two decades, to orphan you when you needed them most You didn't set out to make bad choices You did as necessary to survive"

Ihim to stop I did this

But he won't relent The words keep co, and it hurts so much to hear the way he talks, like he still has faith in me, like I'm not lost "Avery, no one faults you for that, least of all me You showed me compassion when the world only offered scorn You saw thethe monster people think I a down Dear Park Avenue is still alive—she refused to let o" He kisses the top of my head and holds me close

I can't stop shaking The floodgates holding everything back are about to break There'sto destroy hts terrifymy actions, because I know indecisions I press the gates ofthehts away until another day

"How do you live with it?" I ask his as they come your way, especially when you know you don't deserve them?"

"Ah, there's the proble voice as he pulls away from me He clasps his massive man-hands on my shoulders and looks at my tearstained face "You don't knoho you are anyht It happens from time to time It happened to me"

"How did you reconcile it? How'd you get back to wanting the baby and the house?"

"You" He smiles with certainty "It was all you, Avery You reflected a version of uy, but then you saw all of ht forYou reminded me that I matter, that I'm loved I believed you It's hard not to You can be very convincing"

I sniffle "So, you don't want to uilt?"

He tosses his head back and laughs His dark hair falls into his eyes when he looks atso volue "Avery, I want you to beyou who you are and loving you without judgh, to delight in indulging your desires If I can return even the sive me, I'll die a happy man"

I can't help it I grin through the tears I brush thein my chest "I'm still alive"

"You are You wouldn't be withoutthe choices you did When most people confront their limits, they break You didn't Be proud you held on without falling apart It's a rare gift"

I's over The hole in ht, dissipates as we talk

I realize it's time for another choice

Reject his thoughts and self-destruct

Or believe hiive myself

CHAPTER 2

My eyes cut to the side and then up to his face I take a step toward hiht?"

"Well, we once had a discussion about a box that ranked highly on the scale, but this one tops it," he says as he smirks

"We should get ly

Sean chokes on his laugh and pulls me into his arms "That's why I love you You transforht in the dark shit-storm of life I adore you" He kisses my temple and rests his head on mine "I alill"

I feel his content sured out how to survive in the present, preventing his past fro him to death

Meanwhile, ressions rip their way froreat, too awful I can't outrun the way they're constantly loo, ready to destroyof this conversation

I refused to talk about what I did, how I got here, but it still lurks in the dark corners of hts

I savor the warth of his arms In his embrace, I'm at peace The liht Somehow he pacified his past to allow for a future

I want to be a part of it

I wrap ing hiht Not here"

He holds his palht, Avery"

"I love you, Sean"

> "I love you, too" He clears his throat and soundsrejected? It's totally weird "TheHow about a walk?"

CHAPTER 3

I wear the ivory chea quietly in the shadows It's still the ht

Sean holdswhite shirt I wonder if they're his or Henry's They seem to fit him, which releases a whole second set of questions Sean pulls a lily froarden and hands it to me "For you"

The sweet scent fills my head as I admire the pale pink petals I say I don't like pink, but, privately, I love it That color irly and cliché that I hate myself for it, but I have worse faults to focus on "Thank you"

He raises a brow and grins, pulling me to hi our heads "I know you like pretty things" His lips pull up, those eyes dancing with ideas that make my stomach twist He leans in close, and whispers in s It's okay I do, too"

"I can't believe you said that!" I laugh at his innuendo and try to push him away, but he doesn't let me

"Don't act so shocked Besides, you like dirty talk, Miss Ser to the tip of my nose

My spine straightens and I step back, huge grin onopen "I do not"

He cocks his head to the side and gives ht you wanted to learn to live with your dark side Ad you any way I want, every tiht here, rip those panties off, and tease you until you beg me to screw you senseless" He touches the side ofatwith sex, and he doesn't hide it He's proud of it, of how much he wants me, of his desires It makes me breathless