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Don’t cry

I repeated the thought over and over as I sat in my best friend’s apartment Aideen Collins rapped up in the arms of her fiancé—Kane Slater—and they both focused their attention on their beautiful baby boy, Jax

Those I loved surrounded me, and what should have been a happy time, wasn’t Not for h, interact with her fiancé, Dominic Slater, who, like Kane, was ht back tears as his hand absent

I gnawed on my inner cheek as I looked away from the happy couple and focused on the plasra, butbecause it was elsewhere I straightened up and hoped I didn’t appear to be so out of sorts, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if I did, because I felt dreadful

I was jealous

I was green with envy every time I looked at Kane and Aideen with their sweet Jax, but my heart broke when I watched how Doh She was my little sister I was a whole decade older than her and she had surpassed me on the journey to motherhood I had no doubt she would marry before me, too

I hated that I felt so bitter towards my own blood I was beyond happy for them, but I hated them a little at the same time She and Dominic were solid They suited each other so well, and their love, though so The more I let myself think about them, the more depressed I felt when I looked at my own relationship

I didn’t think it could even be classed as a relationship any the line, we stopped being nice to one another To a point, we stopped being loving towards one another It started out as nor contests We weren’t even at that angry stage anymore; ere at the silent one

We ignored one another, and e did interact, it wasn’t pleasant

I didn’t knohere rong, but Ryder and I, we fell out of love It pained me to admit that, but it was the truth I loved him dearly, but I wasn’t in love with hi with I was deeply in love with the ive me the world if I asked It broke otten to the point ere at I had no idea what I did wrong

It was sorrowful

I glanced toon Aideen’s sofa He was, as usual, tapping away on the screen of his phone and paying me no o, that I used to feel hurt when he gave his phone more attention than aze, because I never wanted him to look at me and really see me like he used to, because he would see hoeak I had become

I didn’t want him to see that I was broken

I looked away froot froe when I ca and sed down the cool liquid I widenedway and enteredas I lifted ainst my chest

I juainst et the water up and regain my composure I looked back to my left as Ryder retracted his hand away fro away from the screen of his phone