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Chapter one

july 2

It was a hot suazine onsolitaire on the front porch, Susannah was inside puttering around the kitchen She’d probably colass of sun tea and a book I should read So romantic

Conrad and Jere There’d been a storht before Conrad and Jeremiah came back to the house first I heard the up over how Steven had lost his shorts after a particularly ferocious wave Conrad strode over to rinned He said, “You have words on your cheeks”

I squinted up at him “What do they say?”

He squatted next to me and said, “I can’t tell Let me see” And then he peered at my face in his serious Conrad way He leaned in, and he kissed me, and his lips were cold and salty from the ocean

Then Jereet a roo He winked at me as he came from behind, lifted Conrad up, and launched him into the pool

Jeremiah jumped in too, and he yelled, “Come on, Belly!”

So of course I jumped too The water felt fine Better than fine Just like always, Cousins was the only place I wanted to be

“Hello? Did you hear anything I just said?”

I opened ers in ?”

I wasn’t in Cousins Conrad and I weren’t together, and Susannah was dead Nothing would ever be the saain It had been— How many days had it been? How many days exactly? —two months since Susannah had died and I still couldn’t believe it I couldn’t let myself believe it When a person you love dies, it doesn’t feel real It’s like it’s happening to soood with the abstract What does it one?

Sometiain, It isn’t true , it isn’t true , this isn’t realThis wasn’t my life But it was my life; it was my life now After

I was in Marcy Yoo’s backyard The boys wereon beach towels, all lined up in a roas friends with Marcy, but the rest, Katie and Evelyn and those girls, they were more Taylor’s friends

It was eighty-seven degrees already, and it was just after noon It was going to be a hot one I was onin the s to feel sun-sick It was only the second day of July, and already, I was counting the days until summer was over

“I said , what are you going to wear to Justin’s party?” Taylor repeated She’d lined our towels up close, so it was like ere on one big towel

“I don’t know,” I said, turning my head so ere face-to-face

She had tiny sweat beads on her nose Taylor always sweated first on her nose She said, “I’ht with my mom at the outlet mall”

I closed lasses, so she couldn’t tell if my eyes were open or not anyway “Which one?”

“You know, the one with the little polka dots that ties around the neck I showed it to you, like, two days ago” Taylor let out an ih

“Oh, yeah,” I said, but I still didn’t remember and I knew Taylor could tell