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Part One: The Final Stories Cal

I aistration number It is CL-123X, but my master calls me Cal

The X in istration number means I am a special robot for n me He has a lot of money He is a writer

I am not a very complicated robot My master doesn't want a complicated robot He just wants someone to pick up after him, to run his printer, stack his disks, and like that

He says I don't give hiood

He has people coive hiets very angry and red in the face

Then he tells oodness, you do as you are told

Of course, I do as I aood I can tell when ood His mouth stretches and he calls that a smile He pats me on the shoulder and says, Good, Cal Good

I like it when he says, Good, Cal Good

I say to ood, too

And he laughs I like when he laughs because it ood, but it is a queer sound I don't understand how he hs when so is funny

I ask him if what I said is funny He says, Yes, it is

It is funny because I say I feel good He says robots do not really feel good He says only huood He says robots just have positronic brain paths that work more easily when they follow orders

I don't knohat positronic brain paths are He says they are so inside me

I say, When positronic brain-paths work better, does itsood?

Then I ask, When ain him works more easily? My master nods and says, Cal, you are smarter than you look

I don't knohat that means either but my master seems pleased with me and that makes my positronic brain paths work ood It is easier just to say it ood I ask if I can say that

He says, You can say whatever you choose, Cal

What I want is to be a writer like , but n makes me feel I want to be a writer I do not understand why I have this feeling because I don't knohat a writer is I ask my master what a writer is

He sain Why do you want to know, Cal? he asks

I do not know, I say It is just that you are a writer and I want to knohat that is You see and if it makes you happy I don't have the words for it I think a while and he waits for

I say, I want to know because it will make me feel better to know I am-I am

He says, You are curious, Cal

I say, I don't knohat that word means

He says, It means you want to know just because you want to know

I want to know just because I want to know, I say

He says, Writing is s, and have different things happen to them

I say, How do you find out what they do and what happens to them?

He says, I make them up, Cal They are not real people They are not real happenings I iine them, in here

He points to his head

I do not understand and I ask how he hs and says, I do not know, either I just make them up

He says, I writethings, who hurt other people

I feel very bad when I hear that I say, How can you talk about hurting people? That must never be done

He says, Hus are not controlled by the Three Laws of Robotics Human masters can hurt other human masters, if they wish

This is wrong, I say

It is, he says In my stories, people who do harm are punished They are put in prison and kept there where they cannot hurt people

Do they like it in prison? I ask

Of course not Theys than they do

I say, But prison is wrong, too, if it makes people feel bad

Well, says my master, that is why you cannot write mysteries and crime stories

I think about that There must be a way to write stories in which people are not hurt I would like to do that I want to be a writer I want to be a writer very much

Mystories One is very old, but he says he keeps it because it has sentimental value

I don't knohat sentimental value is I do not like to ask He does not use the machine for his stories Maybe sentimental value means it must not be used

He doesn't say I can not use it I do not ask him if I can use it If I do not ask hi orders if I use it

At night, he is sleeping, and the other huone There are two other robots my master has who are more important than I am They do ht when they have not been given anything to do

My master has not said, Stay in your niche, Cal

Sometimes he doesn't, because I aht I can look at the Writer You push keys and it makes words and then the words are put on paper I watch the o on the paper themselves I do not have to do that

I push the keys but I do not understand the words I feel bad after a while The master may not like it even if he does not tell me not to do it

The words are printed on paper and in theI show the words to my master

I say, I a the Writer

He looks at the paper Then he looks at me He makes a frown He says, Did you do this? Yes, master When?

Last night Why?

I want very much to write Is this a story? He holds up the paper and smiles

He says, These are just randory I feel better I do not knohat gibberish is

I say, Is it a story?

He says, No, it is not And it is a lucky thing the Writer cannot be da If you really want to write so badly, I will tell you what I will do I will have you reprogrammed so that you will kno to use a Writer

Two days later, a technician arrives He is a master who kno to make robots do better jobs My ether, and my master helped I do not remember that

The technician listens carefully to my master

He says, Why do you want to do this, Mr Northrop? Mr Northrop is what other masters call my master

M y n Cal, remember I think I must have put into hi as he does, I feel I should humor him I owe it to him

The technician says, That is foolish Even if we accidentally put in a desire to write that is still no job for a robot

My master says, Just the same I want it done

The technician says, It will be expensive, Mr Northrop My ry He says, Cal is my robot I shall do as I please I have the money and I want him adjusted

The technician looks angry, too He says, If that's what you want, very well The customer is boss But it will be more expensive than you think, because we cannot put in the knowledge of how to use a Writer without iood deal

My master says, Fine Improve his vocabulary

The next day, the technician comes back with lots of tools He opensI do not like it He reaches in I think he shuts off my power pack, or takes it out I do not re, or know anything

Then I could see and think and know again I could see that time had passed, but I did not kno much time

I thought for a while It was odd, but I kne to run a Writer and I seeibberish" ibberish toit was a story

I would have to do better This ti of "apprehension," too-I had no apprehension that he would keepthe old Writer After all, he would not have redesignedto preventso

I put it to him "Master, does this mean I may use the Writer?"

He said, "You ed in other tasks You must let me see what you write, however"

"Of course, master"

He was clearly aly word!) but I didn't think he would get any more

I didn't write a story immediately I had to think about what to write I suppose that that is what the master meant when he said you must make up a story

I found it was necessary to think about it first and then write doas thought It was much more complicated than I had supposed

My master noticed , Cal?"

I said, "I a to make up a story It's hard work"

"Are you finding that out, Cal? Good Obviously, your reorganization has not only improved your vocabulary but it seeence"

I said, "I'm not sure what is meant by 'intensified'"

"It means you seem smarter You seem to know more" "Does that displease you, master?"

"Not at all It pleases me It may make it more possible for you to write stories and even after you have grown tired of trying to write, you will remain more useful to me"

I thought at once that it would be delightful to be more useful to thetired of trying to write I wasn't going to get tired of writing

Finally, I had a story in my mind, and I asked my master ould be a proper tietting in ht for the corner where the old Writer is standing; and you can write your story How long do you think it will take you?"

"Just a little while," I said, surprised "I can work the Writer very quickly"

Mythe Writer isn't all there-" Then he stopped, thought a while, and said, "No, you go ahead and do it You will learn I won't try to advise you"

He was right Working the Writer wasn't all there was to it I spent nearly the whole night trying to figure out the story It is very difficult to decide which word comes after which I had to erase the story several ti

Finally, it was done, and here it is I kept it after I wrote it because it was the first story I ever wrote It was not gibberish

The Introoder

by Cal

There was a detektav wuns naood detektav and very brave Nuthin fritened hiht when he herd an introoder in his masters home

He ca office There was an introoder He had culas That hat Cal, the brave detektav, had herd with his good hering

He said, "Stop, introoder"

The introoder stopped and looked skared Cal felt bad that the introoder looked skared Cal said, "Look what you have done You have broken the windo"

"Yes," said the introoder, looking very ashaymed "I did not mean to break the windo"

Cal was very clever and he saw the flawr in the introoder's reoing to break the windo?"

"I thought it would be open," he said "I tried to open it and it broke"

Cal said, "Waht was theof what you have done, anyhow? Why should you want to come into this room when it is not your room? You are an introoder"

"I did not mean any harm," he said

"That is not so, for if you ment no harm, you would not be here," said Cal "You must be punnished"

"Please do not punnish me," said the introoder

"I will not punnish you," said Cal "I don't wish to cause you unhappiness or payn I will call my master"

He called, "Master! Master!"

The master came russian in "What have we here?" he asked

"An introoder," I said "I have caut him and he is for you to punnish"

My master looked at the introoder He said, "Are you sorry for wat you have done?"

"I a out of his eys the way it happens with masters when they are sad

"Will you ever do it agen?" said my master

"Never I will never do it agen," said the introoder

"In that case," said the h Go away and be sure never to do it agen"

Then the ood detektav, Cal I alad to have pleased the master

The end

I was very pleased with the story and I showed it to the master I was sure he would be very pleased, too

He was hed a few times Then he looked up at me and said, "Did you write this?"

"Yes, I did, master," I said

"I ?"

"I made it up in ain, quite loudly "It's interesting," he said

I was a little anxious "Is it funny?" I asked "I don't kno to s funny"

"I know, Cal It's not funny intentionally"

I thought about that for a while Then I asked, "How can so be funny unintentionally?" "It's hard to explain, but don't worry about it In the first place, you can't spell, and that's a surprise You speak so well now that I automatically assumed you could spell words but, obviously, you can't You can't be a writer unless you can spell words correctly, and use good grammar"

"How do I e to spell words correctly?"

"You don't have to worry about that, Cal," said my master "We will outfit you with a dictionary But tell me, Cal In your story, Cal is you, isn't he?"

"Yes" I was pleased he had noticed that

"Bad idea You don't want to put yourself into a story and say how great you are It offends the reader"

"Why, master?"

"Because it does It looks like I will have to give you advice, but I'll make it as brief as possible It is not customary to praise yourself Besides you don't want to say you are great, you reat in what you do And don't use your own name"

"Is that a rule?"

"A good writer can break any rule, but you're just a beginner Stick to the rules and what I have told you are just a couple of the to encounter oing to have trouble with the Three Laws of Robotics You can't assus aren't like that They must be punished sometimes"

I felt h I said, "That is difficult "

"I know Also, there's no mystery in the story There doesn't have to be, but I think you'd be better off if there were What if your hero, who other than Cal, doesn't knohether someone is an intruder or not Hoould he find out? You see, he has to use his head" And my master pointed to his own

I didn't quite follow

My ive you some stories ofdictionary and a grammar and you'll see what I mean"

The technician ca a spelling dictionary and a grammar It'll cost you more money I know you don't care abouta writer out of this hunk of steel and titanium"

I didn't think it was right for him to call me a hunk of steel and titaniu he wants to say They always talk about us robots as though eren't there I've noticed that, too

My master said, "Did you ever hear of a robot anted to be a writer?" "No," said the technician, "I can't say I ever did, Mr Northrop"

"Neither did I! Neither did anyone as far as I know Cal is unique, and I want to study him"

The technician srinned, that's the word "Don't tell me you have it in your head that he'll be able to write your stories for you, Mr Northrop"

MyHe lifted his head and looked down on the technician very angrily "Don't be a fool You just do what I pay you to do"

I think the master made the technician sorry he had said that, but I don't knohy If my master asked me to write his stories for him I would be pleased to do so

Again, I don't kno long it took the technician to do his job when he ca about it

Thento me "How do you feel, Cal?"

I said, "I feel very well Thank you, sir" "What about words Can you spell?"

"I know the letter-combinations, sir"

"Very good Can you read this?" He handed me a book It said, on the cover, The Best Mysteries of J F Northrop

I said, "Are these your stories, sir?"

"Absolutely If you want to read them, you can"

I had never been able to read easily before, but now as soon as I looked at the words, I could hear theine how I had been unable to do it before

"Thank you, sir," I said "I shall read this and I'ood Continue to showyou write"

TheHe had a detective who could always understandI didn't always understand how he could see the truth of a ain and do so slowly

Sometimes I couldn't understand theh, and it seemed to me I could write a story like Mr Northrop's

This ti it out in ht I had it worked out, I wrote the following:

The Shiny Quarter

by Euphrosyne Durando

Calule-eyes sharp and the nostrils of his thin high-bridged nose flaring, as though he could scent a new mystery

He said, "Well, Mr Wassell, tell , for one can't tell when even the sreatest importance"

Wassell owned an important business in town, and in it he es

Wassell did so, but there was nothing startling in the details at all and he was able to summarize it this way "What it ahireat importance, each in itself, but it is like a small, steady oil loss in a machine, or the drip-drop of water fro of blood froerous"

"Are you actually in danger of losing your business, Mr Smithson?" "Not yet But I don't like to lose money, either Do you?"

"No, indeed," said Smithson, "I do not How many robots do you employ in your business?"

"Twenty-seven, sir"

"And they are all reliable, I suppose"

"Undoubtedly They could not steal Besides, I have asked each one of them if they took any money and they all said they had not And, of course, robots cannot lie, either"

"You are quite right," said Smithson "It is useless to be concerned over robots They are honest, through and through What about the hus you employ? How many of them are there?"

"I employ seventeen, but of these only four can possibly have been stealing"

"Why is that?"

"The others do not work on the premises These four, however, do Each one has the occasion, now and then, to handle petty cash, and I suspect that what happens is that at least one of thees to transfer assets from the company to his private account in such a way that the matter is not easily traced"

"I see Yes, it is unfortunately true that hus may steal Have you confronted your suspects with the situation?"

"Yes, I have They all deny any such activity, but, of course, hus can lie, too" "So they can Did any of the questioned?"

"All did They could see I was a furious uilty or innocent They would have had trouble finding other jobs if fired for such a reason"

"Then that cannot be done We uilty"

"You are quite right," said Mr Wassell "I couldn't do that But how can I decide which one is guilty?"

"Is there one a them who has a dubious record, who has been fired under uncertain circumstances earlier in his career?"

"I havesuspicious about any of them"

"Is one of thees"

"I am sure of that, but perhaps one has some sort of expensive taste that makes his income insufficient"

"I have found no evidence of that, though, to be sure, if one of them needed money for some perverse reason, he would keep it secret No one wants to be thought evil"

"You are quite right," said the great detective "In that case, you ate theet to the botto in the evening Weroom over some small meal and a bottle of wine, so the ht, if possible"

"I will arrange it," said Mr Wassell, eagerly

Caluarded the fourand had dark hair One of the One of them was Mr Foster and the other was Mr Lionell The third man was rather fat and had sy and had a nervous way of cracking his knuckles He was Mr Ostrak

Smithson seemed to be a little nervous hile eyes narrowed as he gazed sharply at the four suspects and he played with a shiny quarter that flipped casually between the fingers of his right hand

Smithson said, "I'm sure that each of the four of you is quite ahat a terrible thing it is to steal froreed at once

Shtfully "One of you, I'uilt and I think you will do it before the evening is over

But, for now, I one for only a few one, do not talk to each other, or look at each other"

He gave the quarter a last tap, and, paying no attention to it, he left In about ten minutes, he was back

He looked from one to another and said, "You did not talk to each other or look at each other, I hope?"

There was a general shaking of heads as though they were still fearful of speaking "Mr Wassell," said the detective "Do you agree that no one spoke?"

"Absolutely We just sat here quietly and waited We didn't even look at each other"

"Good Noill ask each one of you four men to shohat you have in your pockets Please put everything into a pile in front of you"

Sht and sharp, that none of the

"Shirt pockets, too Inside jacket pockets All the pockets"

There was quite a pile, credit cards, keys, spectacles, pens, some coins S in everything

Then he said, "Just tothe same requirements, I will make a pile of the contents of my own pockets and, Mr Wassell, you do the same"

Now there were six piles Smithson reached over to the pile in front of Mr Wassell, and said, "What is this shiny quarter I see, Mr Wassell Yours?"

Wassell looked confused "Yes"

"It couldn't be It has my mark on it I left it on the table when I went out to call my office You took it"

Wassell was silent The other four men looked at him

Smithson said, "I felt that if one of you was a thief, you wouldn't be able to resist a shiny quarter Mr Wassell, you've been stealing froht, you tried to spread the guilt a to do"

Wassell hung his head "You are right, Mr Sate you would find one of thethe money for my private use"

"You little realize the detective's mind," said Calumet Smithson "I will turn you over to the authorities They will decide what to do with you, though if you are sincerely sorry and pro punished badly"

The End

I showed it to Mr Northrop, who read it silently He hardly smiled at all Just in one or two places Then he put it down and stared at et the name Euphrosyne Durando?"

"You said, sir, I was not to use my own name, so I used one as different as possible" "But where did you get it?"

"Sir, one of the minor characters in one of your stories-"

"Of course! I thought it sounded familiar! Do you realize it's a feminine name? " "Since I am neither masculine nor feminine-"