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Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out…cannot have a panic attack now

The last thing I want to do is to reward the sadistic turd I check et a momentary flash of my husband instead

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe…breathe, bitch, breathe before you pass out

It’s inco Mattheard Blake wastoHe was thewith He was also the oddamn clue

You can’t blaant life Idyllic, ht up until three years ago, when on a cold winter night the police showed up at my front door to inform me that my husband’s car had to be fished out of the Hudson River, along with his body, and the course of my life was forever altered

That was just the beginning The investigation came next

Ambition was always a facet of Matt’s personality That was never in question So he liked bright shiny objects, so what Matt wasn’t greedy He was always kind and generous with those around him Hence, I chose to see it as a positive My a sure every child that entered rade classroom received the best education possible That’s all that has ever mattered to me

Did I have aspirations that included beco a CEO of a fortune five hundred co for the Olympics? Mmmnnno And if that sets the feminist movement back fifty years, then so be it

For a while, I considered getting a Masters in child development Until Matt persuadedour children There was nothing ever unreasonable about what he wanted He never gave ood wife, I supported my man I’m a team player after all, loyal to a fault If Matt wanted the house in Connecticut that we really couldn’t afford, I went along with it When he got me the BMW I said I didn’t need or want––well, he was just being generous

Things are nice, but I had family, friends, and the love of h There was a certain restlessness in hiht, I wish I had––I’ll forever be sorry I was tookeeps needling my conscious like a splinter I can’t see yet can feel every so often And now that he’s gone, I’ll never knohere it all rong