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Prologue

Jordan

“Jordan…”

The voice reaches rief All of it beyond my control It sounds like my father, but it can’t be hi with Beau, so it -induced delusion I’ve had plenty of those in the last feeeks

“Jordan,” I hear again More forceful and clear this ti overdown on me

“Jordan?” coain It’s about as welcome as sand between the back of my teeth

“Who let you in?” I say into the pillow,from disuse

How long have I been in this state? A few days Maybe more I’ve lost all concept of ti as a constant reot a hold of me that day and life as I know it stopped It didn’t cease to exist It just stopped in that one awful fuckingme forever trapped there

“You gave me the code”

The old man has always been a blunt talker and honest to a fault I used to love that about him

“Ree it when you leave”

His feet shuffle across the carpet, the brushing sound like sandpaper to my already injured nerves I bury etting away, no ht invades my bedroom It hits the bare skin on ht now Si a deep breath hurts

“Your brother tried calling you”

Yeah, I know I had to block him after the twenty-fifth call

“Howthis?” he continues after a heavy beat

How long…good question

How long does it take for a life to end if I will it? How long until I fade away? Quietly Without dra to savestops the just out of reach

I closeto me Lainey, maybe I’ my nao to her It’s all I want