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It was finally fucking over

The cops rushed in and secured both of the deadto their knees beside her I watched,its way up my throat, as they checked for a pulse

Hope thundered in my ears, but the shake of their heads as they huddled around her told the saddest story of all

For twenty-nine minutes, from over a thousand miles away, my heart had beat in that room with her

And as he spoke into the radio on his shoulder, telling the dispatcher that she was gone, my heart died in that room with her as well

“Nooooo!” I bellowed,as my soul tried to tear free of my body

She couldn’t be gone They had to be wrong They had to be wrong

I gripped that phone so tight that the corner of the glass cut into ers, and chanted, “No No No”

I desperately needed the screen on htmare

I needed her to calltoo protective and overreacting

I needed to stop looking at her lying on that hotel floor, blood—God, soall around her

But I knen to thebones, if I severed that connection, I’d never see her again

On weak legs, I stue of our bed, and sank down

I continued to stare

I continued to blink

And I continued to pray for a miracle that I kneould never come

As the seconds passed, my body becaht a human could survive

And as the adrenaline ebbed and reality sank in, I wasn’t sure I wanted to survive at all

Cora

Four years later…

“Shit!” I cried as I threw the covers back and sprang from the bed

Thefrom the alarm clock across the room I knew better than to keep it on either of the htstands next to my bed The snooze button was my only addiction But it seeh the alarm