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IVY

“BABY, I MISS YOU SO MUCH,” his voice is raspy with strained desire

I press the phone toover my skin

“I hten around the phone

“Just wait ’til I get et a lot of rest tonight because you’re going to need it I’onna be able to walk ’til Monday”

My breath catches and I cover ht

“Ooohlet’s just forget dinner and spend the night in bed”

“Mhs into the phone “I better go now I’ll see you tomorrow”

“I love you” My stomach twists into a knot

“I love you, too, babe,” he says back

The words are so familiar to me; he’s said the the it back I have said them, many times But not this time

This ti those words with my husband

I wait for hiently press the end button and put the phone back in its charger next to the bed,so violently that I almost drop it Hot tears burn ina tissue frohtstand, I dabdown the hall toward our bedroom

I sit on the edge of the bathtub, tre to somehow make sense of what I just heard It must be some sort of mistake Or a joke I did not just hearanother woht

He misses her

He loves her

She loves him

He’s going to fuck her hard

I lurch toward the toilet and vohteen years of trust, devotion, commitment, and love

Now all I have is lies

“Ivyare you alright?” The doorknob rattles “Babe, why is the door locked?”

I wipe my face with a cold, da well Go to bed”

“Can I get you anything? Unlock the door I don’t want you locked in the bathroom while you’re sick”

Still sitting on the floor in front of the toilet, I reach over and unlock the door, and he immediately comes in and stands over me

“What’s wrong?” He squints at ht of the bathroo bad?”

No Ibad

Concern is all over his face, and it looks sincere, causinghe’s been lying to ain, and he takes a step backward My head spins round and round He loves her He ht He’s supposed to love me Only me

Earlier, he ht He’s been working nights and weekends for a long ti me and the kids here alone

He ith her

Of course

As I kneel on the floor and wretch, e expenses on our credit cards Long nights at the office A short te fas

My stoain

“Ivy, you’re worrying et sick” He fills a small paper bathroom cup ater and hands it to me “Try to drink a little water”

Taking the cup, I peer up at hihteen years, and never once in all that time have I ever doubted him in any way Not once

Confusion shrouds his face “Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

“I heard you” My voice is a wretched whisper,

“Heard me what?”

“You, while you were downstairs on the phone” I s back the acid in my mouth “With another woman”

His skin pales, and his hand goes to clutch the back of his head like he does when he’s mad or upset “Fuck” He closes his eyes for a moment and then opens the on me?”

I stare at him in disbelief “Are you serious? That’s all you can say? No, I wasn’t eavesdropping I saw the phone light up and thought one of the kids was calling somebody”

He blows out a deep breath “I’m sorry I’m so sorry, Ivy” He paces the small room “We have to talk I didn’t want you to find out like this” Oh, God He’s not even denying it

I stand up and wobble onpast him into the bedroom The bathroo with hie of the bed, stunned that he hasn’t denied anything Why isn’t he denying it? This is the part where I find out it was so

“Paul, what’s going on?” More tears strea, or that this is so”

He sits on the bed about three feet away from me “Ivy, I’m so sorry—“

“You’re sleeping with another wo harder

He rubs his forehead “I don’t think we should talk about this when you just got sick”

“I’m sick because of this”

He looks at me and then quickly looks down at the floor like he can’t stand to see the sight of me “I’ain, his voice low

My stomach pitches, and new tears spill from my eyes