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Chapter One

Kabul, Afghanistan

It’s the s

Or awake

At this point in my life, it could be either one

Either way, the smell fills up my nostrils and sticks inside my nose; rusty, metallic and sweet I know fro, it’ll still be there when I wake up A pungent reet away from

It’s a hell that I’ll never escape

Even as I squirm, as I try to wake, a noise penetratesin this dreahtmare a hundred ti

It’s the unmistakable crunch of bone in my hand

My eyes snap open and I look around, registering several things at once

I airl’s black hair is grasped tightly in ht, I clutch her liles

I i her other hand to her mouth to contain a scream Tears flood her eyes and spill down her crushed cheek The blood turns her tears red and I realize so fro from her

Jesus

There is blood everywhere, spewing from her nose and her eye, fro onto her nakd olive skin and staining the yellowed sheets of the bed I gasp and instinctively back away fro in shock

“What the fuck?” I e to choke

When I move, she cradles her broken hand

The hand that I broke

Sweat forms immediately on my brow and my heart pounds wildly I did this to her I did this to her What the fk have I done? I’ kicks in and I pull ether

“I’ toward her, reaching out to assess her injuries She flinches away, fear apparent in her wild eyes as she turns her shoulders away frout sinks at her response, at the knowledge that she is terrified of me

At the sick realization that she has a reason to be

I s hard, the thick taste of self-revulsion pooling in my mouth

“Please,” I tell her raggedly, holding ain”

The prostitute, a slender girl named Niki, trembles but forces herself to res She sucks in a breath when I get too close to her broken hand, but rigidly allowselse It’s alirl twenty different ways to Sunday, but right now she’s as distant as a stranger Because she’s terrified

Of me

“I’ away from her stiff blood-spattered shoulders “I won’t co I won’t ever hurt you again, Niki I’m sorry”

One of her eyes is swollen shut, but the other one widens at ers are cold and they shake

“No,” she whispers “If you stay away, they will beatto you Please Do not stay away, soldier”

I stare at her, aghast “I just beat you,” I tell her slowly “I didn’t mean to, but that’s not an excuse I just beat you”

Niki shakes her head, flinching as the h me I hurt an innocent woman Jesus Christ I’m a monster

“You were sleeping,” Niki says adaht”

“The bad thing?” I ask uncertainly, my eyes frozen on her bloody face She nods

“It chases you,” she answers solehan accent “It is different for everyone, but it chases us all The bad thing caught you”

The bad thing caught me

I s hard, trying to dislodge the fking lump that has formed in my throat

“I’ did catch ht”

She looks at me curiously, her body tense with pain, but stays motionless as I wrap a sheet around her shoulders and quickly get dressed

I’nore thefrom the other dark, tiny rooms as I make my way down the battered hallway to the office I know the e sits in there, because I pay him every time I visit Niki

He looks up at me in surprise when I walk in, but I don’t hesitate I toss all the e-looking foreign money that is equivalent to hundreds and hundreds of US dollars