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Selene, our elderly maid and my only friend, made a sound in the back of her throat “Your father–”

“He doesn’t need to know,” I said,into my palms

“Your sister–”

My lungs caved in,cold “Stop Don’t even finish that sentence”

“Julianna”

“Please, stop Stop trying Just take the food and leave”

My shaky voice was followed by silence and then the door clicked close Her presence disappeared and I was finally able toin self-pity again

Myoverlooked the stables from behind our mansion My father’s estate expanded many thousand acres, but this spot used to be my favorite view

Except now, it was nothing but a bitter reminder

How could our lives change so quickly in merely four months?

If only we hadn’t sneaked out…

If only I hadn’t been so stubborn…

If only I hadn’t been driving that night…

My hand ca as I touched the black veil The thin fabric started from below my eyes and hid the rest of s that I never had before, keeping my forehead covered Only my eyes were visible

I hear she’s ugly now, that’s why she hides behind the veil, the whispers would say

It’s good she keeps it covered I don’t want her to give htmares

Beasty, some sneered

The poor girl, others pitied

The whispers didn’t hurt In fact, they had little effect on me I had learned to shut the world out while I surrounded myself with ht copingit harder on myself

She said a lot of things, but none of them mattered

My sister – Gracelynn – was still dead Because of me

And I was still here, alive and breathing when it should had been me in her place

I still remembered her wide-open, dead eyes I could still smell the unpleasant odor of led face so vividly in my memories and every time I closed my eyes

I was in that car with her dead body for three hours

Three hours that felt like three extre days

I passed outconsciousness only to see her bloodied face again and again, while I screamed at her to breathe, to stay alive

Gracelynn wasn’t wearing her seatbelt that night The force of the ih the windshield Her screalass shards lodged in her flesh was still seared in my brain

Most days, I spentthe sun rise and set, watching the day go by, turning into months

It wasn’t like I could run away from my misery No, I couldn’t even walk