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CHAPTER ONE

‘COLE, IT’S ME I need to talk to you urgently Please, sweetheart’ Vicki Halliday pressed her phone so hard against her ear it hurt ‘We’ve got a problem’

She’d one Their dreams and excitement were over Maybe her drea about the pregnancy

‘Please leave a et back to you as soon as possible,’ her husband’s strong, don’t-mess-with-me voice intoned Not the voice she adored, went to bed with to have sweet nothings whispered against her skin Not the ed and kissed in return because of the deep sexiness that was the love of her life

She pressed ‘off’ and leaned forward over her knees, her hands clenched around the only link she had with her husband Da for hih the loss of their baby together

Not that there was anything unusual about his absence Twelve o he hadn’t been around when she’d had to have their spaniel Benji put down after a car had hit the beloved pet that had helped her through the lonely days when Cole was offshore Neither had he been around twocheht she would lose her too

He had surprised her by turning up for her thirtieth birthday One night of passion, then he was gone before she’d woken up Gone without a word of when he’d see her next, without waking her to say he loved her As always, he’d had to follow orders Fair enough He’d gone into the job willingly But she hadn’t Noas in East Timor with his army unit Not here Where he was needed the most Where, for once, he could put his own needs aside and help her through this tragedy—together

‘Cole, you have to answer your phone pronto’

In desperation she tapped his nue

The pain and despair coht of consequences ‘Just for once, answer your blasted phone, Cole Halliday I’ve h a burst of pain ‘I’ve miscarried,’ she repeated, quieter this time

The words clogged her throat and she threw the phone onto the couch beside her as she sprawled lengthways in a wasted attempt to ease the ache in her abdoain, why not? Nothing had gone right in theirshe’d see their pregnancy through to full term be any different? Except this time the pain was unbearable, and that wasn’t the physical

I’ve lost our baby

‘It’s so unfair,’ she cried through clenched jaws

I think I’ve lost my husband, too

‘Still no answer?’ Molly rubbed Vicki’s back

‘Obviously not,’ she vented at her friend, then instantly regretted it None of this was Molly’s fault Molly had strapped her baby twins into the car and driven halfway across Sydney to pick her up the

Also, as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t really bla their baby But he should be here, cuddling her, or rubbing her back when it ached instead of Molly sharing her grief beca

use it would be his, too Nothethe emotional support he all too often failed on Because he stood tall, he thought she could too

Instead she was used to having a loving fa, so these past years in Sydney away fro, had been hard He didn’t get it Didn’t understand how much she needed him to listen to her worries and take theed herself upright ‘Sorry, ignore me’

‘It’s okay I get it’

‘True’ If anyone did, Molly did Years ago her friend’s ex had put her through a horrific e via a fist to her stomach For Molly, it had been the final straw in a violent ood Eventually, she’d found happiness with Cole’s best friend, Nathan

‘I only wish you weren’t going through this’

Vicki gave a sick sigh Right this h without hera baby, of believing that she and Cole would be a proper faone down the drain, alry tears burned down her cheeks Her broken heart continued doing its job fro of eood ‘Cole’s not here to see it To hold ht That we’ll try again’ If he wanted to

‘Here’ A box of tissues appeared before her ‘He’ll feel terrible when he gets your e’

When he got it Who knew exactly where he was and for how long? Not her He never told her when he was going on a ed in Not that she wanted the details, they’d only give herif he was safe

‘You reckon?’ Vicki couldn’t help the bitterness tainting her question Was she being unfair? Selfish? Sure she was, but today she didn’t care ht here Now Not in another country looking out for people he didn’t know It was important to him, and some would say she was selfish, that other army wives coped with disasters

To hell with thein to understand how much she’d sacrificed for her fa down the sa her own needs to keep Cole happy She liked et well It was one reason she’d becoot one on hold, but over the past year she’d begun resurrecting the idea of owning a nursing agency Maybe she should’ve done it when Cole had first signed up and then perhaps she wouldn’t be so at odds with him now

She hadn’t knohere to start It didn’t come naturally Cole didn’t understand how i for herself, so she’d vacillated bethat she had and what she wanted When she’d beconant, the future had become clearer—in a different direction She would raise her child with all the love she was capable of, while still being there for Cole, at his side, loving hi herself on the backburner Just like her retted