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I knohat I want to say

I quit

Tords

Tords that I should be able to spit out I can tell the old man fuck you fine, but I can’t say I quit

It has more to do with me than my father Once I tell hie career fields, I have to be sure that I’m ready I have to be able to burn the white coat and be completely satisfied

I can’t vacillate betweenknow Or else my father will try to convince me to stay, and I need to confidently shut that shit down

He’s the gateway to acy that has consuate, I need to walk through and never turn back around

Right now, in this moment…I’m not a hundred-percent sure yet, and I’d rather speak to my father face-to-face than say those permanent words over the phone

I tuck et to my apartment—”

“Farrow,” he says quickly, concern tensing his voice

I push into the break roo ainst my ear, I tell my father, “I’ll call you back—”

“Wait” He stopsup

“Hold on,” I say and wait to speak again until I’ down on the paveency entrance, and a couple women in teal scrubs smoke on a wooden bench

I put the phone on speaker to freeI’ve eaten in over twelve hours The food sits like lead in my empty stomach

“Listen to me, Farrow I’ve been where you are”

No shit I check traffic before I cross the street to the parking lot

“I know being a , excruciating hours, and you leave a shift exhausted But whatever you saw and did today, don’t bring it home with you Don’t let it torture you”

He assumes that I’m emotionally unavailable to handle his call I irl code seven times in the past five hours, but I’ve never let any of that affect my job

The problem: if I plan to quite doctor

It’s that simple

I approachlot “I’m not that spent,” I tell my father “I’m just not exactly excited to take house calls and check a little kid’s flu symptoms”

“The call isn’t about one of the little kids, and it’s not an illness”

My brows arch, and I find myself frozen in place Not an illness

I can’t ignore this call No part of me wants to sit on the sidelines when I have the ability to help But it’saway from medicine that much harder

I kick up the Ya to what my father wants

He knows it too “We’ll talk s up first, but only after he dangled a giant carrot in my face

I pocketdown the visor

And like a stupid ass, I hunger towards the temptation

When I graduated medical school, I decided to save on rent and room with other doctors from Philadelphia General I live a little north of Center City in an old gothic school that was converted into lofts I don’t really give a shit about the “original chalkboards” or the dark walnut paneling or a city view

Basically, it’s cheap with three rooh for me

Inside my apartment, I set my motorcycle helmet on the kitchen counter next to a Post-it note and then dial my father’s number

The note is for me, the same one I see every other day I barely skim the scribbled words:

Farrow, tell your friend that he needs to leave

~ Cory

Leaning on the cupboards, I bite off the cap to a pen and then push my phone to e letters

No

I’ here in my place shouldn’t be a proble in this apart anyway

The phone line clicks

“I’ll email you the patient’s ht where we left off, “and then—”

“Back up,” I interject, not wanting to read anyone’son theh their ?” I tear open a packet of oatrab a paper bowl in case I need to leave in a hurry

My fatheraround, his loafers click clap on the floor “Excuse me,” he says faraway to someone else “Thank you…okay, perfect I’ll be out at the cliff site in fifteen minutes”

I pour oatmeal powder in the bowl and turn on the faucet

More loudly, my father says, “Farrow?”

“Still here” I

hold the bowl beneath the faucet

“The patient is Maximoff Hale”

My brows furrow, andconfusion “Moffy really called you for help?” I ask

It would take two seconds around Maxi to be saved For any reason Even if he were in cardiac arrest, I can’t see hi my father

But say Moffy did, then it’d have to be serious

“Yes, he really called—”

“Shit,” I curse as water overflows my bowl of oatmeal Quickly, I shut off the faucet, and I overturn the watered oatmealdistract me like this

“He was asking for instances where he should go to an eency room,” my father explains

I dry my hands on a dishtowel “I don’t know Moffy that well, but he seems like the kind of person who’d s that haven’t happened yet”

“You do know him,” my father refutes “You know all of the Hales, the Meadows, and the Cobalts We both do Getting to know your patients is e’re able to provide the best care”