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Chapter 1

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Morning arrives before I'htoodness Those, I have ue dread, a sense of unease, but so amorphous that it dissipates like wisps of clouds when I try to grasp it

That doesn't h I'm certain I know the subject of this dream, the reason behind this pervasive apprehension

My father

Because this is the day he is being released frohis confession of murder A murder he committed supposedly to protect me, but it was too little too late, and I know damn well that it was not uilt for the hell he put er

I shudder and pull the sheet up to ainst my memories For the last few years, I've tried to open ive him To see him as a penitent who perfor he can do will erase the past Nothing he says can change reality

He wounded me, and I will forever bear the scars

So on the them that Daddy will always be there That no boy will ever be quite good enough for Daddy's little girl That they are sweet and smart and beautiful and that the world is there for them to conquer Words spoken with affection and colored by love

I've known those girls, but I was never one of the me as a pawn Or, worse, as currency My parents doted on ile little prince And while I adored him, too, I hated the fact that I was never the princess I was chattel, and I was destroyed, and the scars ofintomy confidence

But that was then

That was before Jackson

Jackson Steele, the hts The th in ave up on me

The man I love

The man who is my husband and the father of my children

&n

bsp; I turn autoh I know he's not there He was called out of town yesterdaysites, and won't return until early afternoon I press ainst his pillow, and for a one only because I had essentially pushed hi that I would be fine by myself That today wouldn't break me

But I'm not fine, and I hate that the horror of my past has turned me into a liar

I want him beside me No, more than that I need him Crave him His touch His power His passion

For so long, I've been strong, the worst ofthing, roused and hungry after a deep hibernation

I sent Jackson away believing I could handle this without hi makes me feel both small and foolish

Stop Dammit, just stop

With renewed deterhosts that are clinging so tenaciously to

I lass panels that make up the western-lorious Friday , and I stand there in own and look out at the vast expanse ofthe vibrant oranges and purples vanquish the pre-dawn gray

I once told Jackson that I wanted a house in the hills with a rooftop patio, a huge yard, and a view of the ocean During the day, I wanted to watch the boats as they disappeared beyond the horizon, and at night, I wanted to sit on that patio under an infinite blanket of stars and conte waves

He'd listened to every word, understood every dream Then he kissed me and told me he'd build me a castle under the stars

And he did He really did

Of course, the fact that he's one of the most famous and successful architects alive helped a bit, and I'd watched as the abstract ideas I'd shared with hies on paper became trusses and beams As dreams became real

I think that is one of the things I lovei beautiful froible than the illusive flicker of an idea

He ether we made it a home

And in point of fact, I'm still not the princess of this castle That, however, is fine by me

I turn back to face the interior of the rooirl curled up in the oversized arht now she's sound asleep beneath her favorite blanket, her thu in front of the chair Veronica Amelia Steele who, like her father, has stolen my heart completely

This early in thehoarten today, and so I'd let her play past her bedtih she'd fallen asleep on her father's side of the bed after begging three tiic Treehouse book, she hadn't stayed in the bed She's adopted the co the night she moved there as she so often does