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PART I

UNCOMFORTABLY NUMB

CHAPTER ONE

THE AIR IN THE ROOM TASTES STERILE THE LINGERING scent of bleach iswith the fresh white paint on the walls, and I wish my teacher would open theto let in a breeze But we’re on the third floor so the pane is sealed shut—just in case anyone gets the urge to jump

I’ at the paper onme over with her purple contacts “You’re not done yet?”

I glance past her to make sure Mrs Portman is distracted at the front of the roo to properly psychoanalyze myself,” I whisper “I’d almost rather learn about science”

“Maybe a coffee spiked with QuikDeath would help you focus on the pain”

My expression falters; just theI hold Kendra’s empty stare—a deadness behind it that even purple contacts can’t disguise Her eyes are ringed with heavy circles from lack of sleep, and her face has thinned sharply She’s exactly the kind of person who can get me in trouble, and yet I can’t look away

I’ve known Kendra for years, but we’re not really friends, especially now Not when she’s been acting depressed for close to adesperate about her that I can’t ignore Soh she’s sitting still

“God, don’t look so serious,” she says, lifting one bony shoulder “I’, Sloane Oh, and hey,” she adds as if just re the real reason she turned to ht at the Wellness Center? Lacey Klamath”

She leans forward as she tells me, but I’m struck silent I had no idea that Lacey was back

Just then the door opens with a loud click I glance toward the front of the classroo in nificantly worse

Two handlers with crisp white jackets and comb-smoothed hair stand in the doorway, their expressionless faces traveling over us as they seek soin to wilt

Kendra spins around in her seat, her back rigid and straight “Not htly in front of her like she’s praying “Please, not me”

Froins her lesson as if there’s no interruption As if people in white coats should be waltzing in during her speech on the kinetic theory of matter It’s the second time the handlers have interrupted class this week

The men separate to opposite sides of the classroo on the linoleu to watch the leaves fall from the trees outside theinstead It’s October, but the suon sunshine I wish I could be anywhere else right now

The footsteps stop, but I don’t acknowledge the alcohol and Band-Aids I don’t dare move