Page 4 (1/2)

Part One

Sunday, July 7, 2019

Prologue

Michelle Spivey jogged through the back of the store, frantically scanning each aisle for her daughter, panicked thoughts circling her brain: How did I lose sight of her I am a horrible mother my baby was kidnapped by a pedophile or a hu store security or call the police or—

Ashley

Michelle stopped so abruptly that her shoe snicked against the floor She took a sharp breath, trying to force her heart back into a nor sold into slavery She was at theon samples

The relief started to dissipate as the panic burned off

Her eleven-year-old daughter

At the make-up counter

After they had told Ashley that she could not under any circumstances wear make-up until her twelfth birthday, and then it would only be blush and lip gloss, no , end of story

Michelle pressed her hand to her chest She sloalked up the aisle, giving herself tiical person

Ashley’s back was to Michelle as she examined lipstick shades She twisted the tubes with an expert flick of her wrist because of course when she ith her friends, Ashley tried on all their make-up and they practiced on each other because that hat girls did

Soirls, at least Michelle had never felt that pull toward pri tone when Michelle had refused to shave her legs: You’ll never be able to wear pantyhose!

Michelle’s response: Thank God!

That was years ago Her rooman with her own child and like every woman, she had vowed not to make her mother’s mistakes

Had she over-corrected?

Were her general tohter? Was Ashley really old enough to wear make-up, but because Michelle had no interest in eyeliners and bronzers and whatever else it was that Ashley watched for endless hours on YouTube, she was depriving her daughter of a certain type of girl’s passage into womanhood?

Michelle had done the research on juvenile e, a so-called benchhly 50 percent of the power You had to start negotiating rather than si them around Which was very well-reasoned in the abstract but in practice was terrifying

“Oh!” Ashley saw her mother and frantically jammed the lipstick into the display “I was—”

“It’s all right” Michelle stroked back her daughter’s long hair So many bottles of shampoo in the shower, and conditioner, and soaps and moisturizers when Michelle’s only beauty routine involved sweat-proof sunscreen

“Sorry” Ashley wiped at the sloss on her mouth

“It’s pretty,” Michelle tried

“Really?” Ashley bea of Michelle’s heart “Did you see this?” She loss display “They have one that’s tinted, so it’s supposed to last longer But this one has cherry flavoring, and Hailey says b—”

Silently, Michelle filled in the words, boys like it more

The assorted Heone unnoticed

Michelle asked, “Which do you like most?”

“Well” Ashley shrugged, but there was not uess the tinted type lasts longer, right?”

Michelle offered, “That makes sense”

Ashley was still weighing the two items “The cherry kind of tastes like chemicals? Like, I always chew—I mean, if I wore it, I would probably chew it off because it would irritate me?”

Michelle nodded, biting back the pole inside her: You are beautiful, you are smart, you are so funny and talented and you should only do things that make you happy because that’s what attracts the worthy boys who think that the happy, secure girls are the interesting ones

Instead, she told Ashley, “Pick the one you like and I’ll give you an advance on your allowance”

“Mo that folloas uys said—”