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PROLOGUE
It was my mother who took me to the police station
The officers had wanted to drive me in the back of their squad car, but she told the her te in the kitchen, flanked by two huge policemen Myas they told her why they were there and what they wanted to talk to , but then her face shifted to fear as she looked at ht at that moment
And, whilein the quiet ferocity of her voice and the strength of her posture caused both of those huge policemen to take a step back froer seat besidenuh the town
It slowed as we reached the old playground
“Don’t look,” my mother told me
But I did I saw the cordons that had been put in place The officers lining the street, their faces gri the roadside, their lights rotating silently in the late afternoon sun And I saw the old jungle gyray before, but right now I could see it was patterned in red It all seemed so quiet and solemn, the atmosphere almost reverential
And then the car ahead of us came to a stop
The officers were ood look at a scene they were certain I was responsible for
You have to do so about Charlie
It was a thought I’d had a great deal in theup to that day, and I still reht I was fifteen years old, and it wasn’t fair Back then, it felt like my entire life was constrained and controlled by the adults around me, and yet none of the in the middle of the yard Or else they had decided it was easier to leave it alone—that the grass it was poisoning didn’t matter
It should not have been left to me to deal with Charlie
I understand that now
And yet, as I sat in the car right then, the guilt they wanted me to feel overwhelh the dusty streets, squinting against the sun and sweating in the siround My oldest friend A sure in the distance, perched aardly on the jungle gym And while it had been weeks by then since he and I had spoken, I had known full hat he was doing That he aiting there for Charlie and Billy
A number of the officers at the scene turned to look at us, and for a moment I felt trapped in a pocket of absolute silence Stared at and judged
Then I flinched as a sudden noise filled the air
It tookon the car horn The blaring volu—a scream at a funeral—but when I looked at her I saw aze directed furiously at the police car ahead She kept her hand pressed down, and the sound continued, echoing around the town
Five seconds
“Mom”
Ten seconds
“Mom”
Then the police car in front of us began ain My mother lifted her hand from the horn and the world fell quiet When she turned to me, her expression was soh ht of it for me as much as she could
Because I was her son, and she was going to look after me