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Four: The Initiate: A Divergent Story

THE TRAINING ROOM smells like effort, like sweat and dust and shoes Every tis hts

"So I guess you saw the boards," Aainst the door fraainst Eric tomorrow Or else you would be in the fear landscape room instead of in here"

"I co out my hands So in ertips

I alirl, Mia I didn't kno to beat her without hitting her, and I couldn't hit her--at least, not until she had o black at the edges My instincts took over, and just one hard elbow to her jaw knocked her down I still feel guilt curling up inside me when I think about it

I aler Candor boy Sean I wore hiht I was finished He didn't know that pushing through pain is one ofonht Now my face is patchworked with bruises and cuts, but I proved myself

To him will take more than a clever th I haven't earned

"Yeah, I know" Aure out what your deal is, so I've been asking around Turns out you're in here every ht You never spend any time with the other initiates You're always exhausted and you sleep like a corpse"

A drop of sweat rolls down the back ofmy arm across my forehead

"Joining a faction is about h initiation, you know," Aers in the chain that the punching bag dangles froth "Forinitiation, their girlfriends, boyfriends, whatever Enemies, too But you sees"

I've seen the other initiates together, getting pierced together and showing up to training with red, studded noses and ears and lips, or building towers out of food scraps at the breakfast table It never even occurred to me that I could be one of them, or that I should try to be

I shrug "I' alone"

"Well, I feel like you're about to snap, and I don't really want to be there when it happens," he says "Coht A Dauntless game"

I pick at the tape covering one of ames I should stay here and work, and then sleep, so I'ht tomorrow

But that voice, the one that says "should," now sounds tome to behave, to isolateto that voice

"I' you some Dauntless status for no particular reason other than that I feel bad for you," he says "Don't be stupid and miss this opportunity"

"Fine," I say "What's the game?"

Amar just smiles

"The ga on to the handle on the side of the train car, but she keeps swaying so she al herself back in, like the train isn't suspended two stories above the street, like she wouldn't break her neck if she fell out

In her free hand is a silver flask It explains a lot

She tilts her head "First person picks so Then that person has a drink, does the dare, and gets a chance to dare so And when everyone has done their dare--or died trying--we get a little drunk and stumble home"

"How do you win?" one of the Dauntless calls out froainst Amar like they're old friends, or brothers

I' across froirl with brown hair and bangs cut straight across her forehead, and a pierced lip The others are older, Dauntless me into one another, punching one another's ar one another's hair It's camaraderie and friendship and flirtation, and none of it is fa my arms around my knees

I really am a Stiff

"You win by not being a little pansycake," Lauren says "And, hey, new rule, you also win by not asking dumb questions

"I'o first, as the keeper of the alcohol," she adds "Ao into the Erudite library while all the Noses are studying and screa obscene"

She screws the cap on the flask and tosses it to him Everyone cheers as Amar takes the cap off and takes a shatever liquor is inside

"Just tell

Zeke waves a hand at ht? Four?"

"Yeah," I say "Nice first jump"

I realize, too late, that it ht be a sore spot for him--his moment of triuhs

"Yeah, not my finest moment," he says

"Not like anyone else stepped up," the girl at his side says "I'm Shauna, by the way Is it true you only had four fears?"

"Hence the name," I say

"Wow" She nods She looks ihter "Guess you were born Dauntless"

I shrug, like what she says h I'm sure it's not She doesn't know that I ca so hard to get through initiation so I don't have to adation result, in a Dauntless haven

The corners of her , but I don't ask what it is

"How are your fights going?" Zeke asks me

"All right," I say I wave a hand over my bruised face "As you can clearly tell"

"Check it out" Zeke turns his head, showing e bruise on the underside of his jaw "That's thanks to this girl over here"

He indicates Shauna with his thumb

"He beat ood shot in, for once I keep losing"

"It doesn't bother you that he hit you?" I say

"Why would it?" she says

"I don't know," I say "Becauseyou're a girl?"

She raises her eyebrows "What, you think I can't take it just like every other initiate, just because I have girl parts?" She gestures to her chest, and I catch , just for a second, before I re

"Sorry," I say "I didn't mean it that way I'm just not used to this Any of it"

"Sure, I get it," she says, and she doesn't sound angry "But you should know that about Dauntless--girl, guy, whatever, it doesn't ut"

Then A his hands on his hips in a dramatic stance, and marches toward the open doorway The train dips down and A, he just shifts and sith the car's ets up, and Aht The others stream out behind him, and I let the people beh

indI'hts, but here the train is close to the ground, so when I ju for a few steps before I stop

"Look at you, getting your train legs," A me "Here, have a sip You look like you need it"

He holds out the flask

I've never tasted alcohol The Abnegation don't drink it, so it wasn't even available But I've seen how comfortable it seems to make people, and I desperately want to feel like I'ht for me to wear, so I don't hesitate: I take the flask and drink

The alcohol burns and tastes likeme warm

"Good job," A his arainst his chest "I see you'vefriend Ezekiel"