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The carpets began to turn The tiny toasties slapped down randomly, sometimes with a buttery squelch, sometimes without Quoth watched carefully, in case any eyeballs were involved Death saw that so aslice An even more complex one measured the number of buttered carpets After a couple of complete turns the lever of the buttered carpet ratio device had moved to 60 per cent, and the wheels stopped WELL? said Death IF YOU DID IT AGAIN, IT COULD WELL BE THAT- The Death of Rats shifted a gear lever and began to pedal again SQUEAK, it commanded Death obediently leaned closer This tih as 40 per cent Death leaned closer still The eight pieces of carpet that had been buttered this time were, in their entirety, the pieces that had been wheels whirred in the s, with an effect that was the visual equivalent of the word 'boing' A moment later two sparklers spluttered fitfully into life and sizzled away on either side of the word: MALIGNITY Death nodded It was just as he'd suspected He crossed his study, the Death of Rats scath mirror It was dark, like the bottom of a well There was a pattern of skulls and bones around the frame, for the sake of appearances; Death could not look himself in the skull in a mirror with cherubs and roses around it The Death of Rats climbed the frame in a scrabble of claws and looked at Death expectantly from the top Quoth fluttered over and pecked briefly at his own reflection, on the basis that anything orth a try SHOW ME, said Death SHOW ME MY THOUGHTS A chessboard appeared, but it was triangular, and so big that only the nearest point could be seen Right on this point was the world - turtle, elephants, the little orbiting sun and all It was the Discworld, which existed only just this side of total improbability and, therefore, in border country In border country the border gets crossed, and sos creep into the universe that have rather more on their mind than a better life for their children and a wonderful future in the fruit-picking and domestic service industries

On every other black or white triangle of the chessboard, all the way to infinity, was a srey shape, rather like an enized them They were not life forms They were non-life forms They were the observers of the operation of the universe, its clerks, its auditors They saw to it that things spun and rocks fell And they believed that for a thing to exist it had to have a position in time and space Humanity had arrived as a nasty shock Hus that didn't have a position in tiination, pity, hope, history and belief Take those away and all you had was an ape that fell out of trees a lot Intelligent life was, therefore, an anos like that Periodically, they tried to tidy things up a little The year before, astronomers across the Discworld had been puzzled to see the stars wheel gently across the sky as the world-turtle executed a roll The thickness of the world never allowed them to see why, but Great A'Tuin's ancient head had snaked out and down and had snapped right out of the sky the speeding asteroid that would, had it hit, have ain No, the world could take care of obvious threats like that So now the grey robes preferred more subtle, cowardly skir happened that was not completely predictable The butter-side-down effect was only a trivial but telling indicator It showed an increase in activity Give up, was their eternalblobs in the ocean Blobs are easy But the great game went on at many levels, Death knew And often it was hard to knoas playing EVERY CAUSE HAS ITS EFFECT, he said aloud SO EVERY EFFECT HAS ITS CAUSE He nodded at the Death of Rats SHOW ME, said Death SHOW MEA BEGINNING Tick It was a bitter winter's night Theoff the roof The girl, who had been ad her new hat in the htly more exposure, just in case the caller was ainst the freezing starlight Flakes were already building up on his cloak

'Mrs Ogg? The midwife?' he said 'It's Miss, actually,' she said proudly 'And witch, too, o'course' She indicated her new black pointy hat She was still at the stage of wearing it in the house 'You irl looked suddenly panic-stricken 'Is it Mrs Weaver? I didn't reckon she was due for another couple of we-'

'I have coure 'They say you are the best in the world'

'What? Me? I've only delivered one!' said Miss Ogg, now looking hunted 'Biddy Spective is a lot ht! Mrs Weaver was going to be my first solo, 'cos she's built like a wardro-'

'I do beg your pardon I will not trespass further on your tier retreated into the flake-speckled shadows 'Hello?' said Miss Ogg 'Hello?' But there was nothing there, except footprints Which stopped in theon the door Mrs Ogg put down the child that had been sitting on her knee and went and raised the latch A dark figure stood outlined against the ware about its shoulders 'Mrs Ogg? You are married now?'

'Yep Twice,' said Mrs Ogg cheerfully 'What can I do for y-'

'You ent'

'I didn't know anyone was-'

'I have co paused There was so And now she could see that the whiteness on the cloak was snow,fast Faint memory stirred 'Well, now,' she said, because she'd learned a lot in the last twenty years or so, 'that's as may be, and I'll always do the best I can, ask anyone But I wouldn't say I' new, that's me'

'Oh In that case I will call at a more convenient moment'

'Why've you got snow on-?' But, without ever quite vanishing, the stranger was no longer present Tick There was a ha carefully put down her brandy nightcap and stared at the wall for a e witchery[4] had honed senses thatin her head went 'click' On the hob the kettle for her hot-water bottle was just coot up and opened the door on this springti,' she said, showing no surprise at the dark figure 'That is true, Mrs Ogg'

'Everyone who knowssnow dripping off the cloak It hadn't snowed up here for a ent, I expect?' she said, as memory unrolled 'Indeed'

'And now you got to say, “You must come at once”'

'You must come at once'