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Discworld is a world and a mirror of worlds This is not a book about Australia No, it's about somewhere entirley different which just happens to be, here and there, a bitAustralian Stillno worries, right? Against the stars a turtle passes, carrying four elephants on its shell Both turtle and elephants are bigger than people ht expect, but out between the stars the difference between huge and tiny is, co, very small But this turtle and these elephants are, by turtle and elephant standards, big They carry the Discworld, with its vast lands, cloudscapes, and oceans People don't live on the Disc any more than, in less hand-crafted parts of the multiverse, they live on balls Oh, planets may be the place where their body eats its tea, but they live elsewhere, in worlds of their ohich orbit very handily around the centre of their heads When gods get together they tell the story of one particular planet whose inhabitants watched, withslabs of ice slap into another world which was, in astrono about it because that sort of thing only happens in Outer Space An intelligent species would at least have found someone to complain to Anyway, no one seriously believes in that story, because a race quite that stupid would never even have discovered slood[1] People believe in all sorts of other things, though For exaend that the whole universe is carried in a leather bag by an old ht, too Other people say: hold on, if he's carrying the entire universe in a sack, right, thathimself and the sack inside the sack, because the universe contains everything Including him And the sack, of course Which contains him and the sack already As it were

To which the reply is: well? All tribal eneral test of the ood that they can see the fall of a tiny bird But only one god makes notes, and a few adjustments, so that next tiht find out why s the question 'Where else should we be?' It would be terrible to think that soht part the clouds and say, 'Daht you discovered slood ten thousand years ago! I've got ten trillion tons of ice arriving on Monday!' We may even find out why the duck-billed platypus[2] Snow, thick and wet, tumbled on to the lawns and roofs of Unseen University, the Discworld's preic It was sticky snohich made the place look like some sort of expensive yet tasteless ornament, and it caked around the boots of McAbre, the Head Bledlow, as he trudged through the cold, wild night Two other bledlows[3] stepped out of the lee of a buttress and fell in behind hiates It was an old custo around to watch it, but the Cereht in every season Mere ice, wind and snow had never stopped it Bledlows in tione past had clambered over tentacled h floodwater, flailed with their bowler hats at errant pigeons, harpies and dragons, and ignored mere faculty members who'd thrown open their bedroom s and screamed imprecations on the lines of 'Stop that damn racket, will you? What's the point!' They'd never stopped, or even thought of stopping You couldn't stop Tradition You could only add to it The three ate, al snow The bledlow on duty aiting for them 'Halt! Who Goes There?' he shouted McAbre saluted The Archchancellor's Keys!'

'Pass, The Archchancellor's Keys!'

The Head Bledlow took a step forward, extended both arms in front of him with his palms bent back towards hi buried had once had two breast pockets Pat, pat Then he extended his arms by his sides and stiffly patted the sides of his jacket Pat, pat 'Dao!' he bellowed, enunciating each ith a sort of bulldog carefulness The gatekeeper saluted McAbre saluted 'Have You Looked In All Your Pockets?' McAbre saluted The gatekeeper saluted A s up on his bowler hat 'I Think I Must Have Left Them On The Dresser It's Always The Same, Isn't It?'

'You Should Remember Where You Put Them Down!'

'Hang On, Perhaps They're In My Other Jacket!' The young bledloas this week's Keeper of the Other Jacket stepped forward Each est cleared his throat and ed to say: 'No, I Looked InThere ThisMorning!' McAbre gave hie a difficult job done well, and patted his pockets again 'Hold On, Stone The Crows, They Were In This Pocket After All! What A Muggins I Am!'

'Don't Worry, I Do The Same Myself!'

'Is My Face Red! Forget My Own Head Next!' Soentlemen—'

'Here's The Keys, Then!' said McAbre, raising his voice 'Much Obliged!'

'I wonder if you could—' the querulous voice went on, apologizing for even thinking of coatekeeper, handing the keys back '—perhaps keep it down a little—'

'Gods Bless All Present!' screa out on his thick crimson neck 'Careful Where You Put Them This Time Ha! Ha! Ha!'

'Ho! Ho! Ho!' yelled McAbre, beside himself with fury He saluted stiffly, went About Turn with an unnecessarily large ae co under his breath Theof the University's little sanatoriuain That man really makes me want to swear,' said the Bursar He fureen box of dried frog pills, spilling a few as he fumbled with the lid I've sent him no end of memos He says it's traditional but, I don't know, he's soboisterous about it' He blew his nose 'How's he doing?'

'Not good,' said the Dean The Librarian was very, very ill Snow plastered itself against the closedThere was a heap of blankets in front of the roaring fire Occasionally it shuddered a bit The wizards watched it with concern The Lecturer in Recent Runes was feverishly turning over the pages of a book 'I e or not?' he said 'What's old age for an orang-utan? And he's a wizard And he spends all his tiic radiation the whole ti his ' The Librarian sneezed And changed shape The wizards looked sadly at what appeared very much like a comfortable armchair which someone had, for some reason, upholstered in red fur 'What can we do for hiest ht feel happier with sohtly bad taste, Archchancellor, I feel'

'What? Everyone likes so a little under the weather, don't they?' said the man to whoany, I believe He seems to be able to retain his colour, at least'

The Lecturer in Recent Runes closed the book with a sigh 'He's certainly lost control of his , I suppose Once it's been changed, it'll change again much more easily, I'm afraid A well known fact' He looked at the Archchancellor's frozen grin and sighed Mustrus if there was anyone around to do it for hi but once it's been done it's a lot easier to do it next tiain?'