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Prologue

I DIDN’T DESERVE TO be here but would gladly do it all over again

I squeezed the dark bars in front of me until my knuckles turned white andand sticking to an to craith the waiting I wasn’t a bad person and sure as shit wasn’t cut out to be locked in this shit hole I’ve always heard that before you seek revenge you should dig two graves This was hts that threatened to drive me insane A place where I was forced to watch life passto

The walls were a deep gray that matched the floor The only furniture was afelt dirty and layered in gri

Things weren’t supposed to turn out this way I should have been able to control e, but a man can only take so much

1

ERIC

Five Days Earlier

I’M NOT WEARING a fking tie, Tuck,” I growled as I tried to knot the silky fabric around round in frustration

“You just need to learn how to tie it, Eric” Cass sood all dressed up”

I rolled ht blue scrap of fabric froure out hoear it Tucker laughed and shook his head I owed it to Cass to try to be onaround our schedule, and I wouldn’t screw that up for her We stayed in Southern California after our last gig, and she went to work ironing out the details with only teeks until we go back to work Each of us had his own job to do I chose the church It was small but sort of quaint, and the pastor talkedlove I kneouldn’t judge their decision to

“How come you listen to her and not me?”

“Because Cass is prettier than you,” I joked, and Tucker rolled his eyes “Seriously, why can’t we just dress the ays do? You want to start off your e with a lie?”

Cass’s hand connected with the back of my head

“O!” I yelled, then rubbed the tender spot I knew she was stressed out about the cere with her She had been trying her hardest to get Dorris to attend, but her health was failing and Cass finally gave up two days ago I held out hope some of our friends would show, but it had been months since I’d talked to Sarah and I assu and didn’t have the time

“You’re not going to dress as a ho,” Cass called over her shoulder as she made her way to the hotel bathroom

“I am a homeless rock star”

“Seh

I was happy to be a rolling stone Cass and Tuck had been talking about getting a hoe I didn’t want things to change I ran h Maybe the shots of Jack before lunch were anever took away irl who had gradually becoone, I didn’t want to cope with reality

It was easier to find peace at the bottom of a bottle

“You all right?” Tucker asked, leaning in towardhis voice His hand clamped on my shoulder I knocked it away and took a step back from him

“I’m fine”

The truth was, I was far from okay I just didn’t want to talk about it I wanted to play another gig and get lost in the music

I glanced up at Donna, our er Her dark, wavy hair was pinned back, but loose curls spilled down the back of her neck I wanted to wrap ht from my head and made my way to the kitchen area of our hotel suite Donna had been loosening up around all of us a lot e from the all-business bitch who first showed up to whip our band into shape during our tour Sometimes we’d even flirt a little And in the rown closer as friends Plus, she was hot when she let herself kick back and have fun

But I couldn’t let o there, especially not today

Maybe the probleh I poured two fingers of whiskey into a glass and quickly drank it down, letting it burn my throat

I sat the plastic cup on the counter and wiped a drop of liquor from my chin as Cass came to my side

“I could use a few of those ainst the faux-granite countertop

I stared at the cabinets in front of me as I clenched my jaw I knew Cass could tell I was upset She had become like a little sister to me, and as much as I loved her, at times I wished we could escape each other I hated how transparent I was to her, and she never let shit go

“Have you talked to her?” I asked after a pregnant pause Even thinking about her made my head start to ache, and I kneas only a matter of time before I had one of my headaches

Cass nodded, sing audibly

“She doin’ okay?”

“Sheshe said she is happy”

I could hear the pain in her voice and I closedto see the look of pity on her face It wasn’t long ago I had judged Cass and Tucker, afraid of their ripping apart our band with their relationship But now here I was, sad and sulking over so to think about how lost I’d be without Cass’s and Tuck’s support

The conversation came to an abrupt halt when a hand slid overit would only end badly for all of us, suddenly the idea of having someone touch me, distract me from my pain, even for a few hours, was all I wanted And I wanted itelse I watched Tucker and the twins froaze I didn’tthe lines a little, but today was different Today I was forced to watch others move on in their lives, build a future, and I was still lost and alone

“You ?” Donna cocked an eyebrow at Cass, and I knew she wasn’t talking about the alcohol I rolled ave me a sympathetic smile

“I need to go fix my hair I’ll talk to you later” Cass tucked a dirty-blond curl behind her ear and headed off to the bathroom of the hotel roo ready, but it was don and had a great view of the city Donna insisted on letting us live a few days in luxury, even if she couldn’t land us all rooms with personal hot tubs We each had our own roo Cass and Tuck would be across town to get some privacy

I slowly turned to look at Donna, earing a low-cut, navy-blue dress that stopped ination She sly as my eyes finally landed on hers

I poured her a shot into ranite counter to her She picked it up and raised it over her head toit back She scrunched her nose at the harshness of the liquor as she slammed the cup on the counter

“Good shit, huh?” I laughed as she nodded, unable to speak “Not much of a drinker?”

“Not yet Pour me another”

“What’s up with you today? Not a fan of weddings either?”

She shook her head, and her gaze dropped to the bottle I nodded and poured her another shot, giving her a little extra this tiain and she took it, her fingers sliding over mine The electricity between us was undeniable today and I tensed, hating my attraction to her She wasn’t ry at the world She used her work as an escape fro herself I also knew that any attraction she felt toward , except that she was ourmyself of that

“Wanna talk about it?”

She drank the shot, a trail of whiskey running over her chin and down her throat I grabbed a paper towel and wiped it off for her, careful not to mess up her makeup