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1

Lily

The sounds of banging cabinets startleover to et up I’d set my alarm a little earlier than I should have because I’ to a new school and have no idea what this one is going to be like You never knohat you’re going to get Most of the tiet lost in the crowd of other students No one notices me for the most part, but it doesn’t alork

I should be used to changing schools by now I think this is the fourth ti to run together, but I hope this is the last Only hteenth birthday I’ll be able to make my own choices then

A sound of so of curses causes me to hold my breath I can only hope he doesn’t call outoff a weekend bender, because alcohol see It wasn’t always like this, but it is now

Taking a deep breath to calm s have been getting unstable lately, and it’s only getting worse Dad used to be able to drown his sorrows in the bottoer has been rising and flyingfor the other shoe to drop I don’t knohat it is Maybe it’s the look in his eyes, but I can see it I can feel it deep insideso he can strike out

But I always make sure there isn’t a reason I desperately don’t want that change to come I’m a skittish rabbit in my own home When I finally hear the front door slam closed, all my muscles release, and an all-too-familiar tension within me relaxes

I pull o with a short button-up blue jean dress ool leggings underneath They’re soft and war walk to school It’s early January, and the Minnesota winter is raging The more layers I can put on, the better

Looking in the mirror, I part ht, before putting in a small clip to hold it in place I make sure the scar by my ear is hidden aseverything The scar is all I ever see when I look in the ed edhas been the same since that day

Nohen I look into theI see I see ht I pulled out a photo albuer I look just like her atblue eyes that take over er than the rest, and my small upturned nose

We ale Reaching out, I touch thein the world can’t turn back the clock I spent the first year after she died wishing for so ets you nowhere

I wipe at the tear that’s somehow escaped I miss when I looked in the mirror and I only saw the scar It was easier to deal with Grabbingthe mess my dad made will still be there

Since my mom died I’ve sort of taken her place when it co is kept clean, the laundry is done, and dinner is on the table beforeNore after one too et up for work, but he does it

I finish cleaning up the shattered coffeeelse is in its place I pull a pack of haer meat out of the freezer and sit it out on the stove to defrost I’ll et home

Bundling up the best I can, I pray that the weather won’t be too bad when school finally lets out I need to see about finding a job on the weekends Maybe I can fill out

lunch at the school library I’ve seen a few small places in town that are ononso close Maybe I’d get lucky and could even work a few hours after school,it home before Dad

Dad will never go for h the week if it means no dinner on the table, but the weekends he see it away I feel like tiet to try and get a place of e next year and to put a roof over et out of here I can’t watch my father kill himself I already watched my mother die

2

Ren

Myet her car out I roll out of bed and -sleeved henley I grab o outside and see , I just walk over and take the shovel fro

“Thanks, Ren I’llto eat”

He pats me on the back, and I finish up as ency room nurse orks what they call three-twelves Three days of twelve-hour shifts, then off for four She’s been doing it for almost twenty years, so I know even when she complains, she loves her job My dad owns the hardware store in town, and everybody loves hiure out how

My e and stops in front of me to roll down her

“Dinner’s in the fridge, with a note on how long to cook it” She turns her head to the side, and I try to fight a set inside It’s colder than your Grandma Grace”

I lean in, giving her a kiss, and shake o”

“Like I said” She winks ataway

When I get inside, I see Dad has left s and oat that I could probably go for seconds Looking at ot about twenty minutes before I need to leave for school, but I reas

Dad co his khakis and work sweater with Hendricks’s Hardware e to be home after school?”

I nod and grabI don’t want to start right now, because I need to be on my way

“Ren,” he says, and I know that tone I wait, and sure enough he has to say soreat scholarship to Minnesota in the fall Your mom and I are so proud of you, son I just want you towhat it is you want to do and that you’re not playing football because you feel like you have to”