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Part of iven anything to be that carefree, but I couldn’t be Sole day went by that I didn’t want to run away and leave her to deal with all of her shit on her own It wasn’t fair to make me live that way Just once, I wanted to knohat it was like to be a kid, but I’d spent tooto be the adult, to ever kno to be anything else

Tiain, my mother would clean up her act, only to fall back into the ruthless habits that were destined to destroy her When I turned seventeen, she o For a while, everything see up for us That is, until Broderick Masterson entered the picture He’d been staying in the hotel while working on an ial case Like all the other men who laid eyes on her, he’d become instantly infatuated

It wasn’t surprising Calling my mother beautiful was an understatement No matter how she was dressed, she turned heads everywhere she went Men flocked to her like starving vultures She could have easily had any guy she wanted, but always seeot serious with someone, she never mentioned me It was inevitable that once they saas part of the picture, they would bail on her

Since , I wasn’t at all interested in , with ht he’d eventually back off, but instead, I seee to hieious private schools in Chicago Thrilled at the fantastic opportunity he had given enerosity and interest in my education had convinced me that he was different from all the other ed the instant we met

Froht Even through his devastatingly handsorin, I could see the evil that lurked inside of him The i hiht into a demon The fearful wayrins every time ere around each other

Just when I hoped they wouldn’t last, their ind roe proposal Over and over, I pleaded with s After all, they’d barely known each other a month But, despite e herI, however, saw the sadistic devil that wanted far more than my soul

After they werefor Broderick’s true colors to show For the most part, I steered clear of them as much as possible, but there is only so o His sexual advances grew bolder by the day, ht underneathvery bad was co, but she was too blinded by Broderick, and the life he provided, to believe me

“Stop lying, Devyn You’re just jealous of what I finally have Don’t worry, with your face and figure, the boys will be crawling at your feet”

Why didn’t she listen? I was her daughter, for fuck sake! She could have stopped him before it was too late, but she didn’t And, for that, I will never forgive her

Death

I find le day I wish, for a bus to hitto strikeon its own Maybe that seerateful toin this miserable world? Fro up wasted space, in a world I was never meant to be a part of

With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, dying is the only way out of the hell I’m forced to live As I stare down at the handful of white pills, I think back to the countless ti to e to just end it Today feels different Today h to actually go through with it

Glancing up into the mirror, I stare back into my empty eyes, the dull brown ones that have never been that spectacular to look at I closely study the bright red blood as it gradually drips froht eye Mes trail downwhen the faue

After the brutal beating I’ve just taken, I shouldn’t even be able to breathe, let alone stand To be honest, I don’t knohere I find the strength anyer feel, nor care, yetwhatever he throws at it The Devyn on the outside is still battling the war, but the Devyn on the inside gave up and surrendered a long tio

I’ on I just want to end it

Well? What are you waiting for, then? Do it!

Reaching over, I grab the clear glass frorip tightens on the pills, still resting in s my worthless mother had left me The

re’s practically an entire pharmacy displayed in the medicine cabinet of her upstairs bathroom Vicodin, Valium, Demerol, you can take your pick The list of choices is truly endless If she wasn’t out spending Broderick’s iven to her by doctors ill do anything for the right price Deep down, I always thought, one day, I’d find her overdosed in her bed, but her fate would take a er twist

On a sunny afternoon, ner dress at a very important social event in the city Unfortunately, the only ones, other thanthe scene of the horrific wreck The authorities concluded that it was an accident, but I’d known the truth Brakes, on a brand new car, just don’t fail to work Through his faketwinkle in his eye This had been his deranged plan all along Ironically, the ht had saved her, was the very one who ended her

With a tre hand, I closeback the glass of water, I hold the contents in the side oftablets reaches ue

S End it! What the hell are you waiting for?