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The cereen and beautiful It’s weird, all this beauty in a place full of dead people It’s not like they’re enjoying it, you know? And how round? Maybe that happens in other families, but inI don’t even knohere my real father is, or if he’s even alive

“Look, there’s Scott! And racious, who’s that with him?”

“If real life is a TV show, I’d say that looks like a security detail” I try to get a good look without seeht, tall and broad-shouldered and looking super fit I can tell from a hundred feet away that his suit is the best of the best, nothing off the rack for our fa fellas, in considerably less expensive suits, and they’re wearing those earpieces like the FBI guys protecting the President wear

Givebreak

“Well,” saysthe car I can tell she’s anxious to get over there to see Scott and listen to some of his crap “I’uard all the tiet for all the crazies”

I rollto pull the short dress down to a respectable length I’ I’d had a little more selection in the shoe depart the cobblestones of the cemetery ay very well

My grandmother apparently did not have a lot of friends, which is no surprise given the personalities of the rest of her faroup assembled to hear the service is s at least to nod, to be polite But when our eyes meet, he looks away coldly

What a jerk The ood in a suit, and Lord knows he’sjerk

The funeral service was blessedly short It was obvious the priest had neverher son I was hoping ot to the reception, and keepa complete waste

In true Caulter fashion, er-than-life spectacle, the reception is held at the country club and there’s an ice swan and at least two tables with chocolate fondue No expense spared even though only about twenty people show up I’d hoped for a bigger crowd,it easier to avoid both Caulters, father and son

My h it isn’t yet noon I guess

h to make her happy after all

I sidle over to one of the buffet tables and help myself to an obscene amount of caviar on a little round of toast

“It is heated in here, you know,” says a deep voice, too close toat me, his hands in his pockets

“Yeah, whatever, hello to you, too,” I say, pulling her around me

We stand there trapped in uncomfortable silence

I notice his shoes arepair of shoes I’ve ever seen in my life I can tell the leather is so buttery you could put it on an English muffin

“It must be nice to be rich,” I blurt out, not even remotely what I meant to say Good Lord, where is my filter?

Scott cocks his head atat me

“Oh, shut up,” I say “And I did mean to say that” I scoop up some more caviar and skedaddle to the ladies’ room, which at the country club is so su to be in it There are chaise longues dressed in ruffled chintz, expensive lotions and hair spray to use for free, and stuff to do your nails It’s practically like going to a spa, not that I’ve ever set foot in a spa so I’