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Who a?
Caroline and I deserve each other She scratchedand technically free adults She likes it I like it, and it’s what I do best, fucking so It’sto do—so keeps me fit, and in the throes of passion I learn all I need to know about a woman—how to make her sweat and if she screams or cries when she comes
Caroline is a crier
Caroline has just lost her husband
Shit
And I’ve lost ht for the last few years
Shit
Closing my eyes, I see Kit’s pale, dead face oncespace within me
An irreplaceable loss
Why the hell was he riding his ht? It’s beyond comprehension Kit is—was—the sane one, the safe pair of hands, Lord Reliable hiht honor to our family name, upheld its reputation, and behaved responsibly He held down a job in the City and ed the substantial family business as well He didn’t make rash decisions, he didn’t drive like a madman He was the sensible brother He stepped up, not down He was not the prodigal mess that I a the black sheep of the family No one has any expectations of me, I make sure of that Always
I sit up, ht It’s ti, they all keep me in shape
With dancedownof my feet on the tread rateful that at last I feel sos and li, not after this fuck-aeek All I want is the physical pain of exertion and endurance Not the pain of loss
Run Breathe Run Breathe
Don’t think about Kit Don’t think about Caroline
Run Run Run
As I cool down, the treadh the final stretch of hts to return For the first tireat deal to do
Before Kit’s deht before and planning the next night’s entertainment And that was about it That was ht on the vacuity of my existence But deep down I kno bloody useless I am Access to a healthy trust fund since I turned twenty-one means I’ve never done a serious day’s work in ain he had no choice
Today, however, will be different I’ h, I’m sure—but now that he’s interred in the family vault, the will has to be read and…well, executed
And Kit died leaving no heirs
I shudder as the treadmill comes to a stop I don’t want to think about the implications I’m not ready
Grabbingback upstairs to my flat on the sixth floor
Stripping off my clothes, I discard them in the bedroom and head into the en suite bathroom Beneath the shower, as I wash my hair, I consider how to deal with Caroline We’ve known each other since our early schooldays We each recognized a kindred spirit, and it drew us together, two thirteen-year-old boarders with divorced parents I was the new boy and she tookWe became inseparable She is and alill be my first love, my first fuck…my disastrous first fuck And years later she’d chosen ed to reood friends and keep our hands off each other—until Kit’s death
Shit It has to stop I don’t want or need the coreen eyes blaze back at me Don’t fuck it up with Caroline She’s one of your few friends She’s your best friend Talk to her Reason with her She knoe’re inco more resolved about her, and wipethe towel onto the floor, I head into the dressing rooather up my black jeans, which are embedded in a pile on one of the shelves, and I’ a newly pressed white shirt and a dry-cleaned black blazer Today I have lunch with the farab a coat to defend myself from the cold outside
Shit, it’s Monday
I remember that Krystyna,to clean Taking out my wallet, I deposit some cash on the console table in the hall, set the alar up behind o the lift and take the stairs
Once I’m outside on Chelsea Embankment, the air is clear and crisp, marred only by the vapor of ray Thaoda on the opposite bank That’s what I want, so I hope to have so an arm, I hail a cab and order the driver to take me to Mayfair
Housed in the Georgian splendor of Brook Street, the firm of Pavel, Marmont and H
offman has been the farown-up,” I mutter to myself as I push open the ornate wooden door
“Good afternoon, sir” The young receptionist bea her olive skin She’s pretty, in an understated way If these were normal circumstances I’d have her number within five minutes of conversation, but that’s not why I’m here
“I have an appointment to see Mr Rajah”
“Your name?”
“Maxim Trevelyan”
Her eyes scan her computer screen, and she shakes her head and frowns “Please take a seat” She waves toward two brown leather chesterfields that are situated in the paneled hall, and I slu’s edition of the Financial Tiency while I peruse the front page of the paper but take nothing in When I glance up, Rajah is coh the double doors with an outstretched hand
I stand
“Lord Trevethick, may I offer you my sincere condolences for your loss,” Rajah says as we shake hands
“Trevethick, please,” I reply “I’ve yet to get used to my brother’s title”