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I start to type back, begging her not to, but realize I was starting to reply in my Twitter-feed instead I delete it and switch back to Instant Messenger She already sent the photo It pops up on h of relief The title says Infection, but it’s a picture of her ex and his new girlfriend

Stephanie’s boyfriend isn’t great-looking, but he has a nice body and never seems to have trouble with the ladies Stephanie thinks he looks like Ryan Gosling Maybe if you squint hard enough and put a picture of Ryan Gosling in front of his face there irlfriend, on the other hand, is stunning Long blond hair, perfect boobs, shapely legs in a short skirt Of course I don’t tell Stephanie that

Me: She’s gangrene

Because that’s what good friends do

Stephanie: I’h He was AMAZING in the sack It was like NASCAR up in our bed Zero to Fuck Yea! in five minutes flat

I cringe while picturing his face in the throes of an orgas eyes, balmy skin no matter the weather

Me: You’re lucky

Stephanie: How so?

I can’t believe I’est mouth, but maybe it will make her feel better

Me: What I’ leave this space

Stephanie: And you’re the one always calling me overly dramatic

Me: I’m serious If you don’t make me a promise, I won’t tell you

Stephanie: Fine I promise

Pop-up ads filldown my computer I click out of them before I reply

Me: I’ve never actually had a guy give asm before

I’ve never told her that I probably should’ve kept it to ht, theher

I wait for her to say so about it—freak out, more like it It’s not the type of confession Stephanie will just let go

OneMaybe she’s too busy rolling around on the floor, laughing

Fuck Now I’ it Stephanie and I tell each other soht be over the line This has potential to become an anvil she’ll hold over my head for the rest of my life A pointed weapon she can jab me henever she feels the need to entertain herself

While I wait for her to reply, I turn up theoff the gifts I’ve already bought and the ones I still need to buy Stephanie has been taken care of She’s the easiest to shop for Sex toys all the way now that she’s living the single life again—and perhaps, after o on forever I need to get so up soon and I haven’t gotten anything for anyone at work yet I’hting the Christmas Eve crowds in stores I would never shop at otherwise

My eyelids grow heavy and I catch ht now There’s too et up off o into the kitchen for so to eat, I look out the