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I grabbedquickly followed, going straight to voiceed with desperation in my tone

Still nothing

I tried again and again and again

I would try until the end of time if that’s what it took for her to answer

To talk to me

To save me

To crave me

Time seemed to standstill, asto balance soht and the darkness when all I could see was gray

“What?!” she screa after I don’t kno many failed attempts “What the hell do you want now?”

“Baby” I breathed a sigh of relief

“What do you want, Austin? Why are you calling me? We’re over! I can’t do this anymore!”

I shut o to another place in time where she didn’t hate me

“I remember the first time I made you smile,” I chuckled, as if it had just happened

My nerves were on fire The h the phone was too intense fortime I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry

“I remember when you used to smile just for me Do you remember, baby? Do you remember what my love feels like?”

I heard her faintly breathing

“Do you reue? The first time I made you come with my mouth? Do you reotten Tell me you remember, baby”

Silence

“I love you, Briggs I love you so fuckingwithout you”

“No, Austin You were dying withthat it killed her to say that

“The first tiht to oin’ to be the death of me You were perfect in every way I was a cocky son of a bitch who needed you then, as much as I need you now”

More silence

“I had a drea dreaer A ring I put there You belonged to s You looked so goddaht at the end of the tunnel for the first time in years”

She sniffled into the phone

“Ievery last bit of you Making you coed me to stop I didn’t”

“I can’t—” she tried to interject, but I didn’t let up

“I kissed your sto sweet lullabies, letting her know Daddy will always be there Baby, it was so real For a second I gave you the one thing you so desperately wanted, the one thing I can’t seeive you”

“Why are—”

“After ere done, I just lay there with you and our unborn baby, both of you wrapped in hts plaguedsure not to wake you I went into the bathrooh You found me You always find me Except this time… I died in your arms You couldn’t save me, but it didn’t matter because the best part

ofinside you When I woke up, I was alone I’s, even when you’re near me I can promise you the world I can promise you a life But even in my dreams, baby, I’m haunted”

“Jesus Christ, Austin,” she wept “Where are you?”

I openedwoken up from a dream within a dream I couldn’t tell as real or lucid Confused by my own reality It was then that I looked down, the needle still firmly placed in my arm

“Where are you?” she repeated with a shaky tone

I shookto find sos I love you with everything that’s left of me”

“Austin, where are you? Please, tellover

I took a deep breath and murmured, “The place I hate”

Once again…

Pushing in the syringe

Briggs

I drove with oddamn time before this

I hated him

I loved him

I love him

I sla my door open before my car was even fully shifted into park The stench of the drug den i me sick to my stomach that he was there

I ran through the abandoned warehouse that he had toldthe randos, begging for another hit I tried e all aroundlike hell not to inhale the mold-contaminated air and decay that had taken over the shithole Piles of trash surrounded the dirty hostlike junkies that appeared dead but could have been alive I knehere I would find hithe back of the warehouse that looked over the harbor

I turned the corner, and saw him My once favorite maroon beanie placed securely on his head I couldn’t control my emotions

I hated him in that second

I despised the love I still had for him in my broken, fucked-up heart in that moment

I slowed down as I got closer, my calculated steps slow and precise I wanted to face him I wanted to look into his eyes like I had done so h I knew there wouldn’t be anything but a hollow existence A shell of theback at me