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“And while all of this is going down, I’m stuck in San Francisco,” I offer dryly

“Stuck? Evan, you play for the Oakland Marauders Your house is a twenty-ypt Besides, you could do worse than my apartot co Gloria, by the way” My best friend chuckles, instantly pissing me off more

“Youat me from her perch on top of the media center I swear if that cat jumps off and attacksa swan dive over the balcony

“That’s not nice She’s er princess She just misses me, but eventually she’ll warht cabinet near the coffee pot That will help win her over”

Sto into the kitchen, I open the cabinet and pull out the cat treats The second I shake the bag, devil-kitty races into the kitchen and leaps onto the counter like a parkour ninja

“Jesus Christ! What the fuck, cat?” I ju that if I give her the treats now and walk away, no one will get hurt Psycho cat

Jake’s deep laughter fillsher the treats froood two feet away froers today, thank you very much!

“She’s excitable Wouldn’t you be if you were getting a treat?”

“If the treat was a tall blonde with big tits and a bubble butt, yeah Though that won’t be happening any time soon since I’m in lockdown in my best friend’s apartment”

“Okay, I’ll be right there” Jake h he’s talking to soo I’m sure you’ll be fine I’ll check in with you in a couple days Just lay low Eventually the truth will come out and your name will be cleared, yeah? Have a little faith”

“Faith?” I huff “In the press? In e?”

“All of the above And wash your hands before and after you go out They’re saying this thing has a teek incubation tiht not present themselves for up to fourteen days”