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Chapter 1

Rowe

I was feeling brave when I picked McConnell It was one of those afternoons where everything was suffocatingme in the face

Two years of being hoht economics at the state university would prepare anyone for a stellar performance on their SATs The test was actually easy I finished quickly and didn’t even spend ti answers like all of the prep books told ot the hell out of the testing room Three weeks later, it showed up in the mail—a 2390, near perfect That meant scholarships And scholarships meant options

Foraway to school I’m not ready to be out, to be on my own I don’t think I’ll ever be ready Two years of ho also left me a little out of practice when it coe is all about social interaction

My parents were pushing ht I’d call their bluff and pick a school a thousandthey’d call mine when I slid the McConnell acceptance across the table to them

They didn’t My dad s deeply, ready to take this step I wasn’t I’m still not I’m not even remotely close to ready But I want to be I’m desperate to be ready I’ve spent the last seven hundred days ofeveryone else live fro some couple fall in love on a reality TV show, and the only proht in an internal tug-of-ith ed by fear

But so to my room at Hayden Hall on the McConnell campus My parents made it a road trip It takes fifteen hours to drive froh the entire trip—I think worried that I would back out if he stopped I thought about it I al my eyes out in a Texaco bathroom But as badly as I didn’t want to leave the safety of home, I was more afraid of ould happen to me if I stayed

It’s clear I was dying there Well,off days ona routine and getting to the next How could I? Myimpossible

Now, standing here, iant roller trunk andsuitcases behind ht

“Rowe—are we alallon of sweat This hu her face with one of the progra orientation

Being frouess I’d never felt real humidity My tank top was plastered to my back with sweat, and in front ofthe same to his skin I’d be embarrassed, but everyone on ca to win a game of Survivor

I finally see the marker for Hayden Hall on the ay and turn to s my head toward it

“Thank God!” she says, a bit melodramatically I let it roll off me In less than an hour, I know Toone—and I will be completely alone So ason to every last drop of her personality, terrified of how I’ll one

We take a small elevator up two stories and find ht Three thirty-three—I re placee in the mail Lucky I feel so far from lucky now

The door is open, and I can see that two of the three beds have already been claimed The only one left is closest to the door—obviouslymy face

“Maybe you can ivingone of the suitcases next to ill be ht and a half months

All I can do is nod My dad is sliding the rest ofthe case toI oithmyself with my stuff would make this place feel h it out in my bubble and not have to venture from my room much

“I haven’t !” one of two blondes says as they enter our rooet their attention, and when they look up, one of them is embarrassed—unfortunately, not the one ished publicly for me not to be a bitch