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It’s the only way to stop the pain

Months ago, on a hellishly long night, in a grotto beneath the Burren, I wanted to die, too, but it wasn’t the sa was the only chance I had of denying him that twisted pleasure My death had been inevitable I saw little point in drawing it out

I’d been wrong I’d given up hope and nearly died because of it

I would have died—if not for Jericho Barrons

He’s the one who taught me those words

That sie isake up, we get to choose between hope and fear and apply one of those es that come our ith joy? Or suspicion?

Hope strengthens …

Not once did I per facedown in a pool of blood Not once did I use it to strengthen our bond I let the onus of our relationship rest on broader shoulders Fear Suspicion Mistrust drove my every action

And now it’s too late to take any of it back

I stop screah I hear the madness in it

I don’t care

My spear sticks up, a cruel javelin,it

For a moment, I’ into the sewer syste into Rocky O’Bannion’s private cache of religious artifacts Barrons is wearing jeans and a black T-shirt Muscles ripple in his body as he casts aside the sewer lid with the ease of aa Frisbee in the park

He’s disturbingly sexual, to e With Barrons, you aren’t sure if you’re going to get fucked or turned inside out and left a new, unrecognizable person, adrift with no s, on a sea with no bottom and no rules

I was never irees of denial

My respite is too brief The ain confronted with the reality that threatens to shatter my hold on sanity

Fear kills …

Literally

I can’t say it I can’t think it I can’t begin to absorb it