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For ht of iant world And for hts to plot with me, and has taken the toddler on too many Sunday afternoon adventures so that e,

And all the men and women merely players" ~ Shakespeare, As You Like It “Are you kidding h-pitched sound that was nothing like irl whose voice it was She sounded bitchy, desperate This was not me This was not the person I had become

“River,” he said He didn’t even try to take his dick out of the girl’s mouth

Shit, she didn’t even stop blowing him

I couldn’t see her face Her blonde hair spilled down her shoulders and back She was skinny under the little dress she earing, the one that should have hugged her curves

It was

I could see her spine in the middle of her back

She was too skinny

I had told her a million times she needed to eat more But she's always deprived herself She'd say it was her fast metabolis to kill her eventually

My sister had never been one to listen to me She was a s; then she got her firstrunway She was famous

We were famous

I was about to bethere I was about to be fa else This

It would be in the tabloids tomorrow The tabloids loved salacious stories, families ripped apart by drama And this was certainly salacious

It was like everything stood still, like someone just pushed the pause button on my life, as I looked back and forth from her to him, my mind completely numb

It was like I atching it on television

I alh I could feel it, bubbling up inside ofto spill out

Pretty soon everyone would be watching it on television The ca ht They aiting for ht in the moment

A woman devastated

I wanted to cut off his cock I wanted to pull a Lorena Bobbitt and cut it right off

I watched his face, screwed up, his hands threaded through her hair, forcing her head down on hi himself further into her throat

I knew that expression on his face

I was just standing there like so him There was a camera crew behind me, and the asshole didn’t even bother to slon He didn’t even break his rhythm

Jesus H, he's going to co blow hi to come

And it will be all over the television

I didn’t even look at him as I walked past the two of them

Traitors

I didn’t know if the camera creas behind me or focused on the blow job What a choice for theood television

I felt strangely cal on the h the hall I passed the photos of us on the wall, the framed pictures of ski trips and Paris and Bora Bora and the tour with the band I entered his rooe baseballs and cards The walls were lined with rock uitars he collected Shelves of stuff signed by his friends, mentors, his idols

I picked up a bat, this collectible thing that was his pride and joy I stood there holding it The objects in here were priceless Mostly irreplaceable It was enough to give htly- I wasn’t one to just destroy precious objects

But I brought the bat up to my shoulder

Swing, batter, batter

And I started s

I heard the, their footsteps, his voice indignant, hers shrill The ca But no one touched me Not yet

I’m sure someone will call security They should I think the producers have security

Everyone was about to hatefro voice in my head

This kind of behavior is unacceptable in public No matter what happens, you srace

This was definitely not grace

But could you blame me?

In exactly three and a half hours, I was supposed to ed in my sister’s throat in the middle of the foyer in our house

When I got in the car, I waited until I was on the highway to take the SIM card fro it bounce on the road, shattering into pieces

The shards of my life

So why the hell did I feel so relieved? "Shit," Adaretirement party"

"Yeah, man," I said "Just a little distracted, that's all"

"Fuck yeah, you are!" He took a long pull on a beer "All these tits, you should be fucking distracted"

We were in a suite in a hotel roo it up At least, uys I've known for the past few years, living in San Diego We were uys, a couple of my Marine friends

Me? I was distracted at my own retirement party

So retirement

I didn't choose to leave the EOD The explosive ordnance disposal unit, that was my job It's what I had done for the last five years That wasn't a long time to most people, but to me it was a lifeti to me It was all I knew, and I didn't want to leave it When the guys said I was having a retire about the whole do-twenty-years, get-a-gold-watch bullshit They were talking about gettingentirely

That wasn't a goddamned retirement Not after five years Not in my books anyway

That was getting euthanized, put down like a fucking dog just because I lost