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You’re not fat

Though you could get toned

But it’s not your fault—

You’re just big boned

“Big Boned”

Written by Heather Wells

“You came!”

That’s what Tad Tocco, my remedial math assistant professor, says as I walk up to hiton Square Park

He doesn’t kiss me, because our relationship is totally illicit Professors—especially tenure track assistant professors in the math department—aren’t allowed to have romances with their students

Even students who, like me, are practically thirty, work as an assistant director in one of the college’s dor the course pass/fail anyway

“Of course I ca to sound like there’d never been any doubt Except, of course, when I’d rolled over a half-hour earlier and looked at the clock, and seen the big hand on the twelve, and the little hand on the six, all I’d wanted to do was pull the covers back over my head and hunker down for another two and a half hours of blissful sleep Itwo blocks from where you work? So you can sleep in until the absolute last minute?

But I’d promised

And now I’ed reat The earlyblond hair—pulled back in a ponytail that’s als, as well

And I can see a lot of those golden leg hairs, thanks to the tiny running shorts he’s wearing

Hello, God, are You there? It’s me, Heather Just wanted to say thank You Thank You for the bright sunshine and the clear cool air and the pretty spring flowers, bursting into bloom

Thank You for tenure track assistant professors in tiny running shorts, as well These things really are worth getting up two and a half hours earlier than I need to If I had any idea, I’d have started getting up this early a long tio

Well, maybe

“So I figured we’d take it slow,” Tad inforh muscles are lean and hard, without an ounce of fat on thehs are firh we are forbidden by ourro around behind everybody’s back