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Later that day, after Mom came back from the cemetery and helped Claudia and I finish out the day, ent hoot in from work not tootable
A familiar silence fell
The clinking of cutlery off plates, glasses against cutlery, the rustle of napkins, the crunch of bread, it amplified the quiet We didn’t have a whole lot to say to each other these days
I was surprised when Dad asked, “You thought any et into law school?”
I looked over at Claudia, her eyes rounded at Dad’s question I shocked her by replying, “I’ the LSATs this fall, Dad”
Claudia’s eyes bugged out “You are?”
She had taken the LSATs in June and passed, but she was under the i law school
Feelingintoas I take them in time for February results, I can apply to start law school next fall”
“I’m pleased to hear it I’m sure Claudia will help you study,” Dad said
Our eyes met and for the first tienuinely pleased To hiht decision
I didn’t know if it was the right decision to apply for law school instead of applying to the police academy like I wanted to That was probably why I hadn’tto Claudia aboutme out of it The truth was I’d made the decision based on as best for my family
“So a in her eyes as she smiled at me
Yeah, totally the best decision for my family
It gave them peace of mind, and they needed that more than I needed to be a cop
Claudia bravely queried, “Are you sure that’s what you want, Charley?”
“Of course” I gave her a tight smile
Dinner was less aard than usual after that Moed in conversation and afterward, instead of shooing me off when I attempted to help clean up, Mom let me
I followed her into the kitchen and piled the plates near the trash As I began scraping off the leftovers Mom said, “I’m proud of this decision, Charlotte”
I glanced over at her “Yeah?”
She s They did that a lot these days Mo crier before… well, before… but she welled up at the slightest thing now “I have to ad in the back ofoff to the acade into the police It’s not like I haven’t always known you could take care of yourself Even when you pushed Andie out of the way of Finnegan’s SUV, I worried for about half a second until I saw you Your leg covered in a cast, bruises all over, and you grinned at us alked into that hospital room All cocky If that had been Andie, it would’ve shaken her up more She was a mess after it happened She followed you around for weeks It drove you nuts”
Just like that, a lu to s past the collection oftears “I remember,” I whispered
“I didn’t want you to be a cop But before this su for it I didn’t want to spend the rest of ht to tellher job Buther back For not supporting her
“But then Andie…” She pushed away from the counter and walked toward me She stopped and reached out to take ive up the academy I know it I don’t know if you really want to take the LSATs or if you’re just saying it to please your dad and o for it Go for your drea to the academy I’m sorry, but that’s the truth Please don’t hate me”
“I get it That’s why I’ it”
“Do you really want to be a lawyer, though? Because you don’t have to be”
I grinned wryly “I can’t give Dad what he really wants For the first time in my life, I’ve disappointed him—”
“Charley—”
“No, Moer too But I’ht now He’s alantedthe LSATs”
Moain”
God, I hoped so because right now I really missed my dad and I really missed Andie
The tears spilled downto focus on the dishes Moave me space
Just as her footsteps disappeared out of the kitchen, my phone buzzed in my pocket My stomach flipped unpleasantly at the name on the screen
Another missed call from Jake
That would be one a day since I’d left Edinburgh
Like clockwork the text e came after it
You know the drill…
Despite the fact that I never answered his calls, Jake kept trying, hoping for the day I’d changeto answer his calls or texts, he’d sent ht So I did Every day since, he’d wanted to know at least that
Brushing the re tears from my cheeks, I replied
I’m okay
I never asked hi onthe coward’s way out with Jake I’d hurt him I knew that I just didn’t want to hear him say it
Shoving ht how ironic it was that only a few short o, I’d made him work his ass off to make up for the way he broke up with me when he was seventeen Over four years later I’d hurt him just as badly I’d promised myself I’d never hurt anyone the way Jake hurt me
What a difference a few months can make
Chapter Two
“…you against my fallow heart There’ll be no sympathy from me, my friend I lost you out in the shallows…”
For the past twentyon a tutorial project, my laptop open on the table, beer beside it, whileto indie rock band The Stolen
We were in Milk, a bar on the Cowgate, an area of Edinburgh wherea year abroad at the University of Edinburgh
Luckily for irl who could drown out a live rock band and a noisy crowd in order to coot was due the next day I could’ve stayed back at my apartment, but I had unpleasant business to take care of there later so I was avoiding having to spend any more time there than necessary
This hadn’t been a probleing , “Lonely Boy” Since thetheir first set in Scotland, it’d struck a chord And every time I heard it, it pulled me in