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My best friend’s mother once told rief the human body would be unable to process anyamount of endurance”

Since she was one of the bravest people I knew, her words stuck with ht Most people’s hearts are built to withstand loss and grief

No one, however, said anything about guilt and regret and how those two things can haunt you long after loss

I didn’t want to be haunted No one does So I was pretending I wasn’t and throwing all of my focus at my job Notstore in Old Town It just paid the bills Barely Which hy I was currently running late after doing overtiet … unless it cut into my other job

Not really a job, actually It was so much more than that

“Nora, can you help a custo into the closet we called a staff roo?”

I pulled on my backpack and strode past her “Remember, I finish at twelve today It’s five after”

“But Amy isn’t here yet”

“I’et to the hospital”

Her eyes widened “Oh? What happened?”

Life happened

“Uh, excuseannoyed “Can someone help me, please?”

Leah turned to help the customer and I took the opportunity to dash out of the store without having to explainme She hired two Americans: Amy and me Only one of us lives up to our national reputation of being a friendly extrovert

Take a guess which one of us

It’s not that I’ood at my job, or even that I’m not friendly I just don’t share personal shit with people I don’t really know, and A froive theht

As I climbed the hill from the shop and hurried up the old cobbled road of the Royal Mile, my anxiety increased It was stupid because the kids would be there when I arrived, but I hated the idea of being late In the weeks that I’d been visiting, I hadn’t been late once And I still needed to change ot there but before any of them saw me

They called Edinburgh the windy city, and today—behaving like its forces were againstits icy resistance A whi to tellWould I look on this day in the future and wish I’d listened to it and turned back? Weird crap like that crossed my mind a lot lately I lived in my head

But not one day out of the week

Not today

Today was for them

Hurrying, I cut a twenty-minute walk down to fifteen It would’ve been less if not for the damn wind I almost skidded to a stop once I reached the ward, the nurses looking up in surprise when I appeared at their station sweaty and out of breath

“Hey,” I puffed out

Jan and Trish grinned attoday,” Jan said

I grinned back at Jan “Only illness or death”

Catching , she chuckled and came around the nurses’ station “They’re all in the common room”

“Where can I change before they see me?”

She shook her head in amusement “They won’t mind”

“I know” I shrugged

“Alison is in the coestured down the hall in the opposite direction of the common room

“Thanks Two minutes,” I promised

“They’re already here Both of them,” Jan said

Relieved, I nodded and darted through Aly’s e shut behind me

Yanking off an to feel a little hum of excitement in my belly, as I always did when I was about to spend time with them And it was about them

Really