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Chapter One

By the tie—aloatherd, and a slave I'd been aprince, lost and found I'd been a traitor's son and a heroine's I'd been a scholar, a lover, and a soldierAll of these were true, more or less

Betimes it seemed impossible that one person's h I was Prince Imriel de la Courcel, third in line for the throne of Terre d'Ange, betrothed to wed a princess of Alba and beget heirs to that kingdom with her And, too, I was Imriel nó Montrève, adopted son of Comtesse Phèdre nó Delaunay de Montrève and her consort, Joscelin Verreuil

Imriel Imri, to a few

When I gained hteen, I tried to flee myself My selves I went to the University of Tiberium in Caerdicca Unitas, where no one knewa scholar There I found friendship, passion, and intrigue I found , and I dealt with it onside of a siege, and learned of grief, courage, and loyalty I discovered that few people are wholly good or bad, and all is not always as it seeround beneath our feet

And so It wasn't enough to undo all of the dae done to h Enough to lend h to face the responsibilities of h to let me come home, even if it was only for a while

Enough to face one last self

My mother's son

My cousin Mavros claiht and the dark Perhaps it is true I never thought I would confront the e, she vanished from the temple in La Serenissi years No one has seen her since, or no one living ill confess it Before that tiht her beautiful and kind, and I loved her for it I didn't knoho she was; nor who I was, either

The second time, I knew And I hated her for it

I thought she was gone froed city of Lucca, a , in the Caerdicci tongue I'd known hiar, and last as ahimself in front of a javelin h He smiled before he died, and his last words stay with me

Your mother sends her love

So I cae, to the City of Elua Home to Phèdre and Joscelin, whoree to her political machinations; to Mavros and my Shahrizai kin To Bernadette de Trevalion, who hired a eline princesses; young Alais, who is like a sister to me, and the Queen's heir Sidonie, who is …not

To my mother's letters

For three years, she had written to me Once a month the letters came, save inter delayed their delivery; then a packet of two or three would arrive I threw the first letter on the brazier, but Phèdre rescued it After that, she saved them for me in a locked coffer in her study

I read theht The laan to sputter for lack of oil I refilled the lamps and read onward Beyond the door, I could hear the sounds of Montrève's household dwindle into soft creaks and sighs as its members took to their bedchambers

When I had finished the last letter, I refolded it and placed it atop the others I put theold key And then I sat for a long tiht

By the tirown accustoe of Lucca I blew out the lah the townhouse

"Imriel?”

There was a lone la in the salon On the couch, Phèdre uncurled She reached over and turned the wick up a notch The fla her face Our eyes met It was still too dark to see the scarlet mote on her left iris that marked her as Kushiel's Chosen But it was there I kneas

"I'm fine," I said softly

"Do you want to talk?" Her gaze was steady and unflinching There was no mirror in the world into which Phèdre feared to look Not anyht about what my mother had written about her

"No," I said, but I sat down beside her "I don't know Not yet”

Phèdre had read the letters It was four years ago, whenmyself to face the task, I'd asked her to do it, to ensure there was no treason in thee her whereabouts There wasn't But I remembered how she had looked afterward, bruised and weary I felt that way now

She watched hts passed behind her eyes, I could not say At length, she reached out and stroked a lock of"Go to bed, Imri You need sleep”

"I know" I swungdown to kiss her cheek "Thank you”

Phèdre smiled at me "For what?”

"For being here," I said "For being you”

In my bedchaWhen I closedin my head

The first words, her first letter

You onder if I loved you, of course The answer is yes; a thousand times, yes I wonder, as I write this, how to find the words to tell you? Words that you will believe in light of my history? I can tell you this: Whatever I have done, I have never violated the precept of Blessed Elua It is in ames of power above all else, and I have played them to the hilt I have known love, other loves The deep and abiding ties of fa thrill of passion, the keen, deadly excitements of conspiracy

All of these pale beside your birth

I began to know it as you greithinthe sa separation of birth, the two divided and rejoined When they put you in ration in my heart; a love fiercer and hotter than any I had known

You will remember none of this, I know But in the first months of your life, I suffered no attendant to bathe you, no nurses, I did ers and toes,at their miniature perfection, the nails like tiny moons Your flesh, a part of mine, now separate The veins beneath your skin where my blood flowed, the impossible tenderness of it all In the privacy of my chambers, I held you close to s mothers say

I rehed, and how it reat dreams for you—dreams you will call treason But above all I kneould never, ever suffer anyone to harh you ladly have killed with ht toward you

When I sent you away …if you believe nothing else, I pray you will believe this I believed you would be safe in the Sanctuary of Elua Safe from my enemies, and safe from the intentions of the Queen Safe and hidden, the secret jewel of my heart If I had knoould happen, if there was any way I could undo as done to you, I would do it I would hu, I would pay any price But there is none, none the gods will accept