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A crack is exactly what’s going to happen to my head if I have to read one more word of the report The rest of the words printed in a squint-inducing font size swims before my eyes I take a deep breath

I can do this, I can do this

The pep talk doesn’t work on my eyelids, and they fall heavily close

I shaketo pry them open with screws if I have to

God, I’m bored

10:24 AM

Tony stops atway from home for Tony, who occupies Cubicle 07 at the East section of the office I’ve noticed hi – we’re batting for the same team – but mostly because I’ I’ve seen him pair it with tuxes (acceptable), leather jackets (questionable), and even a sleeveless Hanes undershirt (remarkable)!

“Hi, Tony!” I hope it’s not obvious I’anizational hierarchy of Moretti Inc is very easy to understand Each proer cubicle and – eventually – a her floor until you reach the 17th, where the corporation’s five top executives work in the lap of luxury They have their own gyularly stocked bar, and their own shiatsu therapist

I work at the Administration Department We share 4/F with Maintenance, and we’re the level directly above the building’s two-floor indoor parking You get the picture, right?

Ad everyone’s favorite errand girl, and none of them is as murderously tedious as Ad around They’re too busy to bitch at each other – like the women in my department frequently do

But Admin?

Let’s just say that if Moretti Inc was a hospital, our floor would be Ze Morgue and we’re all its zombie attendants

Tony wordlessly hands me a stapled set of papers

Absently tucking my hair behind my ears – I usually keep it tied but I couldn’t findthe Supplies Inventory Update Report to et it from your cubicle next time---”

But I’ to his back

Like ue, Tony doesn’t think I’m worth even the semblance of small talk It’s not just because I’e of being at everyone’s beck and call No, what really makes me Ms (Un)Popular here is the fact that I’ve also been hired to be their Grammar Nazi

As proofreader and copy editor, I get to know all their dirtiest secrets on paper Suffice to say, it doesn’t endear one as far as exiling me to an isolated corner of the office, since Cubicle 55 has the honor of being located between the door and the giant trash bins

Supervisor Ed – he’s the guy I report to - says I’ve been loriously exclusive spot becausenext to the constantly swinging doors – which occasionally sendall around the office - is supposed to reet their stuff spell-checked before they leave the office