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Men love Star Wars Not in the same omen love Titanic or The Notebook—I cry every time I watch them But Star Wars is different for men It’s not just entertainment
They believe in it
It’s their handbook, their Bible Apparently, all the secrets of life can be found in George Lucas’s fil to Drew, the last three “suck ass”
We’re watching The Empire Strikes Back now
Drew and I have been living together for just over a et your hair highlighted? And after just a day or two you can’t reine a time when your hair wasn’t this vibrant, multifaceted shade? It’s a lot like that
There we are—on the floor, snuggled under a pile of pillows and blankets, eating popcorn—while Han Solo is about to be frozen in carbonite Oh, and Mackenzie is here too Alexandra and Steven asked us to watch her for the afternoon
“I don’t get it”
Drew’s eyes don’t stray froet?”
I sit up as I explain “The man is most likely about to die, and the woman he’s wanted all this time finally tells him she loves him—and what does he say? I know? What kind of line is that?”
Drew looks genuinely shocked “Uh…the greatest in cinematic history?”
“Why didn’t he just say he loves her too?”
He sits up, giving me his full attention Prepare to be tutored in the finer points of ic
“Because he’s Han freaking Solo He’s the coolest guy in the galaxy He doesn‘t have to say he loves her—look at everything he’s done for her She should already know”
Typical I shake my head and look down at Mackenzie, who sits between us “When you fall in love? Go for a guy like Luke”
Drew is highly offended “No No way…”
“He’s sweet Brave but sensitive”
“Luke is a whiny little bitch until Return of the Jedi”
Mackenzie reaches for her calculator and adds ten to the tab Did youon the coffee table? Yeah—it’s almost full I say Drew should just buy her a Ferrari now By the tih to drive it, they should be about even
“If you decide you want to get uy like Han”
Mackenzie turns her head fro a match at Wimbledon
“He’s selfish and egotistical Always running off in his space cruiser—”
“That’s the Millennium Falcon to you,” Drew interrupts
I ignore his correction “And he’s obviously a playboy! A womanizer Why would you want Mackenzie with someone like that?”
“Correction: he was a woed hi, and powerful She’ll eat a weakling like Luke for breakfast Han, on the other hand, will keep up with her Keep her satisfied”
He shten—as he adds, “Like us”
I sly “But I’m never satisfied I alant more”
Drew’s voice drops suggestively “I guess I’ll have to work harder, then”
And just like that, we’re in Lust Land Get used to it—it happens often Our gazes lock, and our ravitate towards each other Don’t worry about Mackenzie; it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before
Drew is big on the PDAs Because when it co, for that matter—he’s impatient and spoiled So if he wants to touch ive a damn who’s around at the time
It can be a real turn-on—or incredibly frustrating, depending on the circumstances
Before our lips touch, the phone rings And Mackenzie’s blond head pops up between us
“I’ll get it!”
Alexandra said she’s really into answering the phone lately
“Evans-Brooks res-dance?”
Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
She listens to the receiver, then turns to Drew “Uncle Drew, it the doore for you”
“Tell hin for it, and I’ll pick it up later”
She does Then she listens again and says, “He say it per-ish-able”
Drew’s brow furroondering what it could be “Okay Tell him to send it up”
Drew pauses the movie Before he stands, he picks up my hand and kisses it softly And his eyes promise more to come
This is our first clothed weekend And although I adore Mackenzie, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to some non-G-rated activity later on Yes—my name is Kate, and I am a newly indoctrinated sex addict
But come on, look at the man Can you blame me?
Drew opens the door, and a unifore cardboard box—with holes on top—through the doorway Drew signs, looks down at the box, and kicks it with his foot “What’s in—”
Before he can finish, a chorus of sounds ees from the box
Meows
Mackenzie’s jaw drops as she runs forward “It sounds like kittens!” She takes the lid off the box “It is! Is a whole box full of kittens!”
Is it ever I stand up and peer inside Eight kittens, to be exact
Drew looks accusingly at the deliveryman “What the fuck is this?”
“These are your foster kittens”
“My what?!”
Kitten Man checks the clipboard “Drew Evans, right?”
He nods
“You signed up to be an animal foster parent These are your wards for the next four to six weeks”
Drew is already shaking his head “I didn’t sign up for shit I hate cats—they’re Satan’s pets”
Kitten Man hands Drew the clipboard “That’s not what it says here”
By this ti fur And I cover