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“I’ory”

I wonder how raduation conversation would’ve went if my birth mother hadn’t handed us over to those horrible people, if she were still alive, andwith her Would I even be graduating? Would I have ever truly felt what it was like to be loved and taken care of? I want to say yes I want to believe my life with her wasn’t all bad And ood ood was lost in a sea of yelling, abuse, and neglect

By the ti with tears I don’t want to cry I’ve been doing too much of that lately in the privacy of htmare about the past

Lila dabs her eyes with her fingertips, wiping away smeared makeup “Well, I just want you to know I’m here if you ever need to talk”

“I know,” I say “And I appreciate that, but I promise I’m just a little distracted by school and stuff”

“All right” She rises to her feet and reluctantly leaves the room

The rab my pen and notebook an

d get out the clusterfuck of thoughts cra to anyone—but if I’o through with the experi back enough of my memories that, at the very least, I’ll be able to positively identify sos over four years ago

I just hope reain

I won’t let it pull me down

I won’t give in

To darkness

Drown ain

I’ll fight and I’ll fight and I’ll fight

Against the rapids

Against the terror

I’ll never surrender

After I finish jotting downusually calms me, but I still feel restless as hell I need answers It’s drivingto happen next—what the Soulless Mileas next move will be

I sit down at my desk and turn on the coe filled with infores and read aabout sacrifices It makes me really damn anxious and worried that Sadie is their sacrifice—worried I could be too if they get their hands on me

“The sacrifice isn’t just about giving up ant,” I read a section of the article aloud “It’s about giving up e love It’s the ultimate sacrifice and the aftermath will cleanse our souls”

A chill slithers up my spine Was it my father rote this? Is that e are to him? His sacrifice to cleanse his soul?

I shake h me Fuck him He doesn’t love us, no matter what his twisted mind thinks

No h, the pain of what my father has done nearly kills led fro it difficult to breathe I need to reet about all the shit going on in my life

Only one other thing can calm me dohen I’m this worked up Or one person, anyway Lyric Scott,really I don’t even care if I sound cheesy Lyric is the best thing that’s ever happened to orys

After I slip on o downstairs to the kitchen

Lila is standing in front of the stove baking so at the table sorting through some papers for work

“Can I go over to Lyric’s for a while?” I ask as I grab a can of soda froe

Lila looks up froes a look with Ethan “It’s kind of late, don’t you think?”

Ethan glances at the clock “It’s only nine”

Lila glares at him Clearly, that’s not what she wanted him to say

I pop the tab on the can “It’s just next door, and there’s an officer parked right outsideBut if you don’t wantI want is to stress her out

Ethan shakes his head “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” he says to Lila “And you can’t keep hihteen years old”

“Yeah, I know” She sighs, turning down the teuess it’s okay Just ht” She picks up a spoon and stirs whatever’s in the pot “Oh, and please keep Lyric’s bedroom door open at all times”

“I will,” I tell her, feeling slightly uncomfortable