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CHAPTER 1

After blinking several times, as if my eyes are broken, aze narrohile I step towards Marty with ether too fast I can’t fathom what he’s done, what it means My hands want to ball up into fists and find his face for ruining the fragile relationship we had left I need hi like this Marty’s friendship is ioldfish Add to that the issues I’ spray of mental sparks before my vision turns red

Marty’s confident expression washes away The s up his hands—palms toward me—in a classic don’t-kill-me pose “Avery, wait a second—”

“How could you?” I jaer into his chest as I advance The door clicks shut behind me after I step into the room

Marty’s voice is nearly shrill It has that freaked out airy sound that people have when they’re about to get a stiletto shoved up their ass “I didn’t! It’s not what you think Give me a chance—”

“I already gave you another chance I already did this with you! You couldn’t just leave it alone! You couldn’t just—” An aggravated sound tears from the back of my throat as my palo flying, sht I hate that he did this I hate his stupid stringy tie and dumbass cowboy hat I rip the hat off his head and throw it to the ground before snatching the bolo from his neck

“Avery! Listen to oes horribly wrong Pleading, he ss, and none of them worked, so I—”

I’, I want this toto be the cowboy client ht My jaw feels like it’s going to pop out of place, because the muscle is way too tense

There are moments that make sense when they happen, and it makes perfect sense to me now I have to punch a card with Black so she doesn’t skin e to sleep with a guy—who I thought was my best friend It’s not a problem Of course not “You wantin a ht and h Arms spread wide, I say, “Here I am”

Marty blinks at ain, I don’t want to hear what he wants to say I advance on hi the front open My foot stomps on his hat as I tear the shirt off his body My foot crushes the felt and Marty stands there appalled

“I think you have the wrong idea Hey!” He tries to keep his shirt, but I grab hold of it and tug Marty is talking, but it sounds like buzzing This can’t be ht I’d be, so ht I’d do, but none of the my best friend for cash I jab, punch, and shove him as I rip his shirt off and toss it to the floor I hurt so e “Avery, stop! This isn’t what you think! You’re too upset to see it now, but—” He tries to grab my shoulders, but I twist away

“You don’t knohat you’ve done! Do you knohat she’ll do to ht now? I can’t do this, but I have to” Tears glitter in ain I can’t think I knohat I have to do even though I don’t want to What else is new? I’ve been living a life that I’ve hated for the past few years What’s another day?

It doesn’t matter It doesn’t matter It doesn’t matter I can fk him and leave That’s what he wants That’s what he paid for Do it and leave The words repeat over and over again, drowning out everything, including Marty’s girly screams and bitchslaps

Marty is bare-chested, standing in front of me in jeans and boots His hair is a ed breath and works his jaw as his fingers flex at his sides “This isn’t what you think If you’d stop—”

I laugh, but it feels like soh the center of my chest I want to fall face down on the bed and cry until I pass out, but I can’t There’s no one left to pick up the pieces and I sure as hell won’t let Marty seeinto a ball of slobbering snot will never happen

I snatch at his belt buckle, doing everything inpiece of brass with a bird on it that connects to a black leather belt I have to do this, I have no choice He leftlike a piece of balsa wood I can’t even for, slapping hi him

I can’t… I can’t… I can’t…

Pain flashes in his eyes, as he continues to try and talk to me, but hisaround the roo, waiting They’re going to make sure I do it this ti like that I’ll end up with broken ribs and more medical bills that I can’t afford