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“Well, the thing about being a bigger woether,” I say slowly “If I wear a flowy top that resembles a muumuu, it just makes me look worse It’s counter-intuitive, but I actually need to find iteht spandex materials do that best”

Ryder snorts and rolls his eyes

“Yeah but Kristy, let’s get to the basics Why are you a size 14 to begin with? I er as they age If you’re a size fourteen now, i you’ll be in your twenties Or your thirties or forties Shit, by then you ery”

Britt has had enough and she sets down her hot dog while shooting Ryder a dirty look

“Might I reirls at this table?” she says coldly to Ryder “What’s your proble a wo?”

Ryder rolls his eyes again and puts down his fork before sighing theatrically But I knohat he’s going to do My boyfriend has never been able to handle confrontation, especially when he’s being called out on his bad behavior

“No, I’uys eat like dogs Literally, you’re eating a hot dog right now What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you eat healthier, like a salad?”

Kaylee gets in on it now too She’s even bigger than me, but she’s beautiful and bounteous all the saolden blonde hair

“For your infors that are made without any preservatives They’re froot them at the local Whole Foods just last week,” she snaps “Watch this”

As if in retribution, Kaylee opens her red lips and takes a huge bite of her hot dog I al red, but then I stopmy boyfriend anymore than we’ve already done

“Ryder, why don’t you see if you can get us soet me a Coke please?”

“And I want a Sprite,” adds Kaylee